Sunday, May 24, 2009

It is all in the Waiting (#114)

Patience, what a concept. If, like yesterday, I allow myself to get caught up in the moment of exasperation I lose an opportunity to become better in dealing with frustration. My struggle yesterday was figuring out how to get a malware infection off my computer so that I could use my computer in the manner I expect. Aren't I just a lot of la de da. I can't understand why I allow myself the time to think I deserve something. It is a privilege to have what I have, granted it's not much but to some people it is a lot. My sense of entitlement comes from somewhere. My ego unchecked is obnoxious. So how and why would I let the characteristics of selfishness display themselves in my behavior. I know better and yet continue bad behavior. I must learn a better way to meditate at times of tension and chaos. I amuse myself right now in that I actually enjoy a good puzzle, yet when presented with the one yesterday I didn't recognize it as a puzzle but instead as an attack on what I deserved. Deserves got nothing to do with it. I was able to catch myself and calm down to the point of actually solving my dilemma but I don't like how my initial reaction overwhelmed my common sense. Meditation has been the number one topic on my mind all morning so it's no surprise to me that it would be in my discussion today. Everyone has moments of stress and tension. It is how we handle these moments that distinguish us from awfully bad to well done good. Just another area in my life needing some attention where before no attention was given. Good luck to all of us.

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