Monday, May 18, 2009
One Simple Thing (#108)
I am still a man who expects things to go according to how I think they should go. My mind tells me that what I have decided is the way they should be. In a perfect world there is nothing wrong with this way of thinking. Since I don't even live near anything remotely close to a perfect world my thinking therefore is flawed and doomed to fail. I know this and yet I find myself doing it over and over again. There must be something within me that won't allow me to see the world in it's pure realistic form or my mind is not capable of sustaining a constant truthful awareness of reality. My self-evaluation on this is that my hopes, wishes and expectations overrule any logical truth or practical answer. My thinking is that, in form, and at times, I choose to force a square peg into a round hole. My motives may be right but reality dictates a different response is necessary. All of that to say that what I need to do is pause and consider for a period of time until I have a clear understanding of any decision I must or will to make. None of this is new to me. I have known this about myself for many years and yet have not been able to exercise a protocol for dealing with it. Once again today I get a chance to organize a process that, although mechanical and stilted, will allow me to function properly in matters within and outside myself. Dealing with reality on it's terms is just one simple thing that I hope will finally become just that in my life.