Tuesday, July 14, 2009
My own expectations for me (#165)
Life is just so complex sometimes. Have you recently had someone disappointed in your behavior when it didn't line up with what they expected of you? The perceived animosity that injects itself is unsettling. I don't hesitate to ask for advice when I feel I cannot see through my own confused outlook. I believe it is appropriate to confer with others when no clear plan of action is foreseeable. It is when unsolicited advice from acquaintances or well meaning friends comes into the equation that I begin to sense trouble on the horizon. I am well used to close family members offering advice in a regular way and I am not at all surprised by it. More what I am referring to is less than family members using their personal experiences as the best way for solutions to my problems. I have a sense of dignity and respect I gift to all those who I meet. I start out on the high-road of principled acquaintance. From there, they then must relate back to me in some similar way that honors my dignity and respect. Most people appreciate this approach to friendship or community, however some others take it as a sign that my high opening opinion of them is a need on my part for them to interject their opinions about most things into my life. When this happens it always leaves me in an awkward way as to how to correct the wrong impression they have without offending them. Each situation is different and requires a personal attention to it's uniqueness. I don't wish to conflict with what some others may wish to do, so I move on with the knowledge that we are all at different places in our understandings and that I must continue to advance my own expectations for myself.