Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Where do I go from here? (#397)

Wherever I need to go. I am of the mindset that what I need to do is more important than what I want to do. On the surface this sounds very noble, and it is, however I am constantly in battle with it's application. I am a selfish person who has built his life on being all about me. I have begun the process of changing that and I am still working out the process. It is easy to be self-righteous when others need correcting but far more complicated when it affects me personally. Each and everyday I have some opportunity to progress on my new behaviour and I do with fits and struggles internally. Time to think and rationalize my circumstances usually allows me to make the right decision I am looking for, despite my old selfish nature. Life is slowly coming to me as a way I wish to live and the continuing of my search for the needs I have to fulfill instead of the wants I wish to absorb is allowing that reality to come to fruition. I am not a perfect soul or human being in my thoughts or actions, but I am persistently trying to be. I know the difference between attaining a perfect result and trying to attain a perfect result. However, both scenarios are not of my doing but something I get to be a part of with the rest of the swirl of the Universe.

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