Sunday, April 4, 2010

A power greater than me (#429)

I feel that there is a power greater than me. It is not just a hope. I have sensitivity toward something that comforts me. I will explain it this way. There is a calmness to me even when I am anxious. Now I might say that hoping to believe in something could be the result of the calmness, however believing in something is not the same as knowing something. I actually feel the calmness when I am in the midst of angst. It could be that I am growing inured to the effects of anxiety but as each new experience with anxiety is different I could hardly believe that I am being cured through time. I have a peace within me that is unlike any experience I have ever known. It is as if I am being comforted by the forces of nature surrounding me. My mindset is a little different about how I feel anxiety these days since I have given myself the opportunity to try to understand that which is not understandable. I mean to say that I don't need to know all the secrets of the Universe, I only need to know that I will continue to be curious about them. My anxiety still exists because I am still expectant of some influence I may have over what time is doing to my life. I just don't put the same importance on the outcome anymore and wait to see what the future has for me.

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