Friday, April 23, 2010

Practicing patience (#448)

The reactions I exhibit are necessarily a habit. I am so used to reacting instantly at things because I have always been under the false assumption that my mind is a brilliant computer. I subconsciously believe that I am a miracle unlike any other. Well, I have since learned that I am not. I cannot analyze and assimilate every thing correctly in any time frame I choose, usually instantaneously. As complicated as this world is with sheer volume in human beings and advancing technology, I am unable to keep up. But like any hard headed person, I chose not to believe facts right in front of me. So, for so many years I was at the mercy of my ego and not even consciously aware I was being an arrogant ass. I have since been shown the errors of my way and have begun the process of slowing down and learning how to be patient. Notice how I say learning, because it is a learned experience with me. I must undo decades of involuntary actions while presenting a new approach such as being still and quiet. The retraining I am going through is presently the largest project I am working on for me at the moment. I am enjoying it also since I am in constant awareness of how reactive I can be. I am enjoying this with humor and I find that it is not as difficult to do when I laugh at myself when I fall short. Let the lessons continue...

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