When my life started I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. I did not know what to think nor did I know how to act. Over time through assimilation and repeating what others did, I gained the beginning of a process for living. Once I came aware that I could make decisions unilaterally for myself I began to discover many possibilities. Having no real perspective, or an objective outlook, I began my journey of enlightenment with many stops and starts. I am now at a point in my life where I can restart my journey. I spent a good part of my life learning and now I want to spend the rest of my life doing those things I have found to be in concert with who I am. I am a blank canvas again. I will not forget the lessons I learned from the past but I will not continue to live in them as a rule. My past has become my perspective on the things in life I look upon and wish to inculcate into my life. I often think of myself like the paraphrased version of a movie line I once heard. (It is as if I have lived two lives, one, the one I learned with, and the other, the one I want to now live.) It appears that I had to go through what I went through to get where I am today. I certainly wish I had not taken so long to have the vision of my life that I do have now but that is moot. What I do with the canvas of my life is now before me and I am willing and able to paint my present and future.
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