Thursday, September 30, 2010
I am satisfied, though at times I am weary and without vigor, that I will continue to do what is right in my heart and mind forever. I know that the only real measure of control I have is in this existence. I also know that it is easy for me to be diverted from my best intents due to circumstances and situations that I fail to pay attention to. For the most part however, my life in existence can be fulfilling in that I can always strive to do what I know to be right. It is the premise I started out with that is more difficult to prove or defend in a practical way. I do not know what the unknown is and what I might, if anything, do there. Eternity is forever. I know that if eternity offers me a conscious thought I will evaluate my surroundings with the same type of process I use here. A process that is an example of the best of pride. A pride that is instilled in one's virtue. To be proud of one's correct and positive actions and thoughts. To have nothing but bold love and courage for living. My take on this is that to give the best of what others see in me to everyone. I do not ever want to be known as someone who did not give when the giving was the right thing to do. In a way it is being a leader of what to do when the best of what to do is required. It is a way of thinking that never doubts it's authenticity. Virtue is the hallmark of humanity. Love may be the greatest personal sentient experience ever, I know this in my heart, but the actions of all virtues outweigh any personal ones in the greater scope as an example to humanity. In a perfect world, all the good would work together to grow from there. Since we are not in a perfect world here in this existence, I must strive to be the most virtuous I can be while also hoping that love finds it's way to me. I have to start with me and know that throughout any time continuum, my unequivocal attempt to be a virtuous man will endure for eternity.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
For all the positive attributes humanity has displayed over time, one thing could be greater than them all combined, fear. It is doubly confounding in that life has been given to us each without a price to pay. We were born and nurtured into who we are without obligation. Life, for me has been a gift. I did nothing to get to existence. I have learned since I have been here that life is also finite. Which means I will only be here for a set period of time. Given that life has been free to me and that it is also only for a duration, why would I be afraid of anything? How is it that fear could paralyze me into action or non-action? It is a mindset that allows for fear to control me when I don't want it to. The mindset that I am owed, that life owes me and that is my motivation and outlook. It is wrong to think that life owes anyone. Life is a gift. When I move away from the concept of "being deserved something" toward the concept of humility and gratitude, I find that fear has very little interaction in my life. I am able to speak my mind about honor and the best principles of life without regard to my own selfishness. In doing so, I find a liberating freedom in my spirit which not only builds my character but gives me strength of conviction. Courage will always allay fear. I can only find courage when I am defending that which is of great purpose. To be noble is no useless ideal, it is actually a prerequisite to finding peace. Many things have contributed to me not having the insight into who and how I should be, greed and an ill-conceived concept of my own value and worth. I have the insight now to know that I have no value or worth unless I stand with virtue as my guide. I still have some of the intent of greed within me but it is greed for being a better person, who tries hard to have no time for any fear.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
How quickly the time flies by. There are so many things I find important during my day and then something happens that puts my outlook into perspective. A friend of mine is suffering with a major arterial bleed in his brain. He is an older gentleman who is not a likely candidate for a high risk operation. What then? Nature taking it's course. All the things I found important before have now faded into insignificance. What I really know right now is that the fragility of life is everywhere. There can be no taking things for granted when it comes to our lives. Society, as we know it, is structured around the premise of keeping us busy doing things toward all of our common interests, ideally anyway. It is a kind of make-work reality, whereas the things we do are important and necessary for society to continue to function, but regardless is still a make-work paradigm. The real importance is our connections to one another. Our sense of welcome and togetherness. These are the real important things in life. Or so, once again, I am reminded by the destiny and fate that comes my way. Despite the fact that time will call all of us eventually to the end of our days, the reality of it doing just that is still a shock and suffering event. In the meantime, as I think and meditate on what is going on around me I will continue to try to remember that it is us, which is what life is all about.
Monday, September 27, 2010
I was emotionally reminded of how pure and powerful love can be expressed by a simple movie about a man and his dog. In the movie, "Hachi", the man dies but his dog remains faithful to him for the rest of his life. The story was based on an actual happening. The reason I was reminded was that I once had a dog who would never leave my side. I took my Carson everywhere with me whenever possible. He didn't care where we went as long as he was with me. I was known to say that the better of the two of us was he. He displayed a loyalty to me to this day I am still in awe of. The emotional reminder is that a great act of love will override all other things. Nothing compares to the magnificence and beauty of love displayed through unending loyalty. I see this noble principle established and acted upon by a species considered less than human. I have to question what the baseline is, in some categories, for the determination of which species has evolved to a greater level of life. The sheer power of emotion that courses through me, then and now, as I feel the loyal love given to me by my little canine friend was and is overwhelming. When my heart is experiencing the greatest of all feelings within me I am at the most pure with who and what I am. It is also revealing that when I do hit the height of the physical effect generated within me I know that humanity is capable of anything and everything good. I am not the master of this existence and I cannot tell why we are here, but I will say that we are not the only species capable of displaying noble qualities.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
There are not enough adjectives to describe how fortunate I feel to be part of this world. Somehow I exist with abilities that are amazing. I can see things that are absolutely indescribable. I can hear sounds that soothe and excite me to limitless boundaries. The smells, tastes and feel of things are incredible. But even beyond those I have a mind that can formulate concepts of mystery and intrigue as well as search out new ways of imagining the known and unknown. What may be the single most important ability I have is how I can feel love. Love transcends everything, I know and do, to experience it. Love is the one ability I have where I would not question whether I should give my life for it. I may seem sentimental, however my experience is that once love is experienced there is nothing else in the known Universe it's equal. All these gifts I have from just being born into life and realizing that they exist within me. I am fortunate that I have not been deprived of any of these gifts from birth or through living life. I am humbled by that. I am also aware that time will have it's say in my life and the time for living is finite. All of these things I realize and hold precious. There is nothing in me that thinks I deserve anything. On the contrary, This unique window into this dimension and the reality it displays further reinforces to me that I owe to existence the best of what I am not the other way around. My purpose here is to be the best me without regard to selfishness and fear. To be another piece within the majesty of this world.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The acts that define charity and the spirit of good will toward others are benevolent. Truly pleasurable moments when I am in the position to participate. Acts of kindness lift my spirit from the regular emotion of reality to the higher plane of joy. I often lose track of what is going on around me when I am working toward something I want for myself. It is not difficult to understand that putting myself first in things leaves me vulnerable to not seeing what is happening to others. I must not be in so much of a hurry to accomplish my personal goals that I miss the bigger picture of life happening around me. I may be an individual encapsulated within the boundaries of my skin, but that is not enough of reality for me to live in. I am not satisfied with only being for myself, I want to be for more than just me. I get to do that by being a benevolent human. I am not judging, I am realizing what is going on. The questions "why" things are the way they are and "why" can't everyone take care of themselves is not for me to explain. I only see what needs to be done and when I can do something I do it. I get the benefit of a sense of an act of compassion, which by my understanding is right and good. I am not so much a biblical person but there are a few ideas that come from the bible that make perfect sense to me. "Build not your kingdom on earth but in heaven"-paraphrased. The riches and pleasures of this world are those that are stored in my mind and heart. Nothing else compares. The true act of being benevolent is so the right thing to do.
Friday, September 24, 2010
For so long in my life I lived without actually hoping for something for myself. I just lived day to day, getting what I could get because I had no sense of purpose. It was a daily routine of seeing what I could get for me without any rationalization of the consequences I was creating. I sought no guidance or rule set to live by. I just wanted what I wanted anyway I could reasonably, or close to that, obtain it. My life was unprincipled and untrustworthy. I was fine with that since everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. Fairness was who could lie, cheat or steal to get what they wanted. My problem was that I was not consciously able to lie, cheat or steal with any real talent. My soul or spirit drew a line at "how low I would go." Fortunately for me I had found a bottom from which I could go no lower. I knew that if I was going to continue living it had to be different than what I was doing previously. Fast forward to today. I have something within me that is called hope. It is a promise of what could be if I put my best efforts toward it and stay positive. It is only what could be and in no way does it realistically have to come true. But my hope is real and that is the point. In many ways we are taught that it is the journey of life that is important and not necessarily where we are going. With the hope I have now within me I can have both, the journey and the destination. I am not guaranteed this but I can try and give my best living to it. My character and personality dictate to me that without my hope I have nothing but an empty existence of being but not purposeful doing. Having hope is the key to why I am reflecting out to everyone else who I am.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
There seems to be an unending amount of things for me to stress and worry over and it does take it's toll on me from time to time. I believe I am going through one of those "times" now. I have thought about how I should deal with the depressing complacency I am experiencing and one positive thought has occurred to me, laugh. It is a lot like what I normally do in the morning when I first look at myself in the mirror in the morning, I smile. I am going to continue to laugh at the things that bother me that I have no control over. It is amazing that just typing this thought about laughing has brought a smile to my face. I wonder how well this concept of just laughing will serve me? I will continue to try for resolution of things despite laughing about them but, certainly, my perspective has changed from a negative outlook to a positive one. I have written on this blog before about how if one truly wants something to happen in their life, it may be made to happen only through enduring resolve to never give up on it. I guess I forgot my own advice. It is not unusual for me to forget and then be reminded of things. I am sure it is common to all of us. What is inescapable is that I am human, and as such, may forgive myself for not being on top of the things that really matter to me. My fallibility is recognized but not given as an acceptable excuse for forgetting. It is just that life wears me down sometimes and I neglect to see it for what it is doing to me. I hope to correct this behavior so that I won't be writing about this anymore.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
So much of my life is thought driven. I am becoming less and less dependent upon spontaneous reaction. It is not unusual for this evolution to be occurring within me, specifically, and others, generally. It is from the process of maturing. As I am getting older from learning and experiencing, I am understanding that everything I am doing has a consequence. The criticalness of my thinking through actions is not to be undervalued. I am certainly trying to be what I aspire towards and any nonchalance in that purpose potentially sets me back. There are fewer paradigms for me to invest my complete effort into, but trying to live with wisdom and conscious thought are two. I find that the importance of being purposeful, fulfills a few ambitions of mine. First, I get to be a part of a calculation that is either important to me or important to someone else. Second, I find a sublimity in accomplishing a purposeful endeavor. The regard I have now for the minutia in the everyday chaos of life has become acutely attractive to me. Life, really is about all the little things that happen as I am living life. There is no insignificant event. All work in some interconnectedness to make what I analyze and reason to become my reality. From the carefree, cavalier days of my youth to the thoughtful, considerate older mature adult I have become.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It is enough to know that I am alive, and fortunate to understand that. When the concepts of assumption, expectation, desires and deserves comes up I am lucky that I have peace with them. I am privileged to live on this planet and enjoy life in society. Everyday is like Christmas morning, full of wonder and care. I live my life from the inside out. Everything that is precious to me resides inside of me. Everything else is just decoration. I am not the normal American who strives to live a life that is measured by outward accomplishment. I know that not all Americans live this way but most do. Our society has created a path which, if followed, can lead to certain plateaus of success and admiration. This is well and good for those who see it for the efficacy and happiness it can bring. My mind has chosen another path for me to follow. It is unique to me, in that I follow only this simple rule. Constantly be ready to learn something. Everything else that happens in life will fall into it's place. I have no road map. I am just living and learning. My world is not surrounded by limits, actually, my world is limitless. The few responsibilities I have can always be relinquished in favor of moving into another direction. I am mobile enough to allow for sudden change. This life I live today suits me. I am not living within the confines of an imaginary box with certain and definable boundaries. I am not saying that having a life that offers security is not to be desired, I am saying that for me, I want to be able to adjust to any circumstance that may come my way.
Monday, September 20, 2010
I don't know how many times I have thought in my mind that sugar-coating the truth would make it sound better. Too many times I suppose. It is wrong every time, no matter how I can justify it in my head. First off, not telling the truth, as it actually is, does nothing to continue my growth in living a truthful experience. It also begins to justify the slippery slope of lying about little things toward lying about bigger things. This morning I initially had the thought that if I only explained a shortened version of a previous action it would sound less offensive and actually very restrained. When the reality was it had nothing to do with restraint and was selfish, revengeful and quite offensive. I suppose my sense of self-preservation may have been attempting to find an easy way out by fudging the truth. But what really is apparent now is that I was being a coward for not admitting I was at fault for my previous behavior. I am sure I am not the only one who has the problem of admitting not only a lack of courage but the act of cowardice as well. It is not often that the truth of this comes into play in my life but come into play in my life it does. If I choose to own up to it then I am giving myself a chance to learn a lesson and hopefully grow from that example. I do not need to deny that I am given to the human failings we all experience. I also do not need to deny the fact of the happening of it when it does happen in my life. The best judge in my life is me and I need to trust that being honest about me, is truly, the best for me.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
This is somewhat simple to describe. I open my eyes and I look out and what I see is in existence. There are many things to see and to describe everything would be too difficult in this short post. I also hear sounds that go with what I see and they add complexity to what I perceive. Reality, in the sense of real tangible things, is somewhat stable and consistent. The tree I saw yesterday is still almost exactly the tree I see today. Given that natural and man-made surroundings stay fairly consistent, I find that reality can be counted on to mostly remain constant. That is an explanation of the natural and man-made environment I dwell in. Another perception I have of existence is the inner workings of how our society functions. By our society, I am referring to the myriad societies that exist on this planet. I have not seen them all but I have seen enough to understand that there is variation in how they operate. Most of us live within societies that protect and broaden life to allow for greater life experiences. It is the ones that don't, the societies that work to inhibit the life experience, that holds it's citizens back from joining the rest of humanity in a better way of living life, that deny the opportunities to experience life equally with most of the rest of us, that bother me. These are the societal perceptions that stand out to me. I am not so concerned with how far I can go in my life when others' lives are being lived without getting much of a start. The filter, my conscious driven action, of my best perception has much work to do.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
"I think therefore I exist". I am mostly satisfied with this theory. I also have senses which also serve to indicate to me that I exist. Based upon the two examples I have noted, I am well convinced that I exist. None of this is normally in dispute but since our world is ever evolving, stating the obvious serves to remind and enlighten where it otherwise could be misconstrued. I am an individual that exists here on this planet with all of the rest of us. We are born, live and die. None of us escape the cycle of life and death. None of us is given anything that would indicate to the rest of us a special dispensation which would make any of us any more unique. My mindset is always set to the fact that whatever this experience is for us, in this existence, is that we all get to experience it together. What do I make of how history has shown what we do to each other in the past? It is a perplexing problem. Each human has, as a birthright, the inalienable nature of individualism. In other words, as a consequence of being born, we are each given the same set of natural rights, our own selves. What we do within ourselves is what we get to choose to do without interference. In respecting how we experience our lives, short of harming others or ourselves, we are beholden to no one. Our lives are real and can be whatever we can make of them. The sanctity of our life and the thoughts and actions we experience, ultimately define how we existed when we were given that chance.
Friday, September 17, 2010
There are moments, and I mean just moments when I can create an outcome based mostly on my indomitable spirit. These moments are short term, and in mostly no way can they be sustained over a lifetime and even less than that. However, my force of will has shown me that I am able to achieve that which I would not be able to unless I had not been absolutely relentless. In athletics, the term would be; "I wanted it more". This is an important distinction. I have been indoctrinated in many classical pursuits of thought that tend to direct me away from my actually being able to influence an outcome solely or mostly on my own. Almost every long term goal of mine is given to, of course, my best efforts but not my ability alone to forge the outcome I desire. It is in the short term that I find I can forge my will through tremendous belief. I know this is not unique to me and that all of us possess, at times, the ability and desire to forge an outcome we absolutely want. What is important though is that harnessing the knowledge that my force of will can actually affect a particular outcome, bolsters my hope for greater and better opportunities. A key to having an indomitable spirit about something is knowing how true and honest it is. My character must remain above any self will not in harmony with the better and best principles of humanity.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
It is essential to build on the foundations of our better and best achievements and concepts. We must never lose sight of where we have been and where we want to go. It is the "where we want to go" that I want to discuss today. We were not born nor do we live in a vacuum. The relative truth of time reminds us that nothing is static. Everything within our Universe is either expanding or retracting. A constant movement of some sort is always in evidence. Even our thoughts about any subject is open to new understanding and recognition. So it is with our species. The physical growth on average of humans has increased just within a few hundred years. As our society improves, so does our health and longevity. In short, we are evolving. It is amazing to be a part of this time given our history. You know, "where we have been"? It was not that many centuries ago that we treated each other as property instead of as free individual human beings. As we continue to nurture and learn as a species, our opportunities continue to increase. We are standing at the threshold of our future. As I see it there is only ourselves to hold us back. We are human, so we are both strong and weak. Strength denotes our courage, while weakness reflects our fears. I am always contending that one of the two pure natures we possess is curiosity. It is curiosity that gives us the vitality to be bold. As we stand at the threshold of our futures, we must reach deep down within ourselves and find the courage to face down fear and step into the next evolution of our human experiment.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Maybe the single most written about subject, on my blog. It is the most enduring theme of how my actions and thoughts present themselves in life. I am all about my hope. I realize that I am insignificant in the big picture of what actually does happen in life but I am fueled by the possibilities my hope engenders. As I do the things I do, hope is the catalyst and the direction. Although hope has a major role in my life it is not the only theme that motivates me. My curiosity often leads me to new understandings and different outlooks that also affect what my hope is to be. I'm constantly amazed at how I learn just by asking about something I did not know. I do not care at how I may look by asking a question. I am not interested in not knowing, I am only interested in knowing. My curiosity is unrelenting. I will probably live my last breath still trying to know something. It is who I am. However, my hope is the key to the quality of life I strive to live. By quality, let me be clear. For me, quality of life, is filled with honorable and noble intention and action. It is the higher principles of the better and best of humanity. My hope takes on other manifestations as well. Those being personal, such as love, admiration etc... My hope is all the good and great I would perceive for everyone, including myself. My hope supplies me with all the purpose in the world to be the best man I can be.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I used to harbor the thought that somehow it would be shown that I was a God in training and soon everyone would come to know this about me. lol. I was much younger then and I thought I was really special. As time went on however, it became increasingly difficult to hold this concept. I began to understand that all of us are unique when we are only looking at ourselves. When we look at others we don't necessarily see all those special qualities, we have within us, in others. Furthermore, I have come to realize that all of us are flawed in many different ways which would never allow any of us to claim to be a God or God-like figure. All of this realizing on my part has been somewhat depressing, being how I had started out with such great aspirations. lol. None of us are Gods and never will be. Since I find that this is true, then really, what are we? We are human beings who have the capacity to think in God-like terms but not the capacity of actions that display constant perfection. It is a bit of a dilemma that in our minds we can create the images of perfection but are not able to put them to perfection of action. I guess the hopeful thing is that we know what it could be like to be a God and that can help us strive to be more God-like. Again though, we are still human and we need to define what our own humanity is before we try to take on the mantle of something we are not. What I do today is to be more Human-like, based on my belief that my humanity consists, in purity, of compassion and curiosity.
Monday, September 13, 2010
I rarely write on the subject of joy so today I will add to what little I have written. What is joy? It is a positive feeling inside me that puts a bounce in my step, a smile on my face and uplifting thoughts in my mind. Joy is a tonic of happiness and hopefulness. Often I find myself joyful when I have been honest and decent with those around me. Joy is the occasional byproduct of being the best person I can be. Joy also comes to me from others who display positive attributes, such as caring and helping. It is so simple a concept, joy, how to bottle it is not so simple. As I continue to learn about how to have more joy in my life, I am also learning how to live a life that produces joy. I am not blind to what is happening in the world. I know that there is continual pain and suffering beyond human endurance at times. Therefore, because of that I must continue to investigate those things in life like joy that can be alternatives to habit and convention. Our current habits and conventions are not the ultimate strategy to alleviate the lack of joy. A different perspective and behavior is going to be required. The only way for the different perspective and behavior to be identified is to learn the nature of joy and how it best comes about. The investigation continues and a worthy investigation it is.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
There are several reasons. One reason was that when I first started I would get into practice of putting something down in print everyday. I figured that if I got into the habit of writing everyday it would suit my purpose to eventually write a book. I was forcing myself to learn the consistency needed to start and finish. Another reason and probably more important to me personally is the need to say what was inside of me. I do not get many opportunities, on a daily basis, to speak my mind and my heart. I am at an age and an education level where what I have to say is honest and logical. A lot of it is still opinion but it is my opinion, which is no less wrong than right. Maybe even more right than wrong. I will leave that to the readers who happen to come upon my thoughts in print. I have given a couple of reasons why I write, but why do I write everyday? For one thing the 24 hour cycle seems to allow me the necessary time to have something new and different to write about. Why everyday? Now that is harder to answer. I guess it is because it has become habit to do so. I have said this before and now I will say it again, writing gives each day that I live some new perspective about it. Each day holds a purpose and significance. I get to be a thinking and thoughtful person every time I sit down at this laptop keyboard and screen. I get to be someone who discovers that something inside me needs or desires expression. I have days where the topic is general and superficial to a degree, and other days where the topic comes directly from my core with painful or delightful conviction. I find comfort in that I have this outlet to express.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
If the human race was to be established by time then up until now we have only clicked off a few seconds. We are at the staging point of our beginning. All the time we have spent so far getting to today has been merely a birthing. The evolution of our species is just beginning from the struggle to find our breath. We have formed reason and analysis, plus created technology. All for the purpose of launching ourselves into the great vastness we know as the Universe. All that the Earth has given us has been for nurture. We are at our starting point both physically and mentally. Our species has come to life as a force that has unlimited potential to explore and discover whatever strange new wonders that exist and that can be realized. Although our technological capabilities are still somewhat limited, we are nonetheless at the threshold of expanding our technology to unthinkable utilization. The drive and spirit of our humanity is undaunted by any perceived limitation. We take what our Earth has to offer and create new and scientifically sound innovations. The freedom to advance is all ours, we have no hindrance from without, only within. As we stand here at our jumping off point, it is appropriate to reflect on who we are and what we hope to find as we courageously accept the challenge to know and understand this existence we find ourselves bounded in.
Friday, September 10, 2010
There are some magical things out there in the world just waiting for me to discover and be a part of. I need to participate in life on it's real terms. Although I have thoughts about what the vision could be for our humanity, I am still living here in the reality of what our humanity is now. But now is just a snapshot, then the present moves into the future. I can have an effect on the movement of the present into the future. This is where my vision of what life could be like comes into play. I just need to do my part. I must move beyond what I do for me and step into the spaces outside of my "routine". Nothing good ever just shows up at my doorstep without me having stepped outside my doorstep and mixed with other human beings. It is the living experiences that help us know each other. Experiences give us a real look at what is inside us. We can also see what is in others as well. A glance at someone tells us very little but an interaction with someone that involves thought and action gives us a better understanding of who someone is. It is easy to settle into predictable patterns of comfort. We all do it. That is fine at times and gives us time to rest and reflect. However, life really is short and not being out in life, taking in the new and different nuances of how it is being lived, does little to increase our appreciation for all that life has to offer. This is a one time deal here folks, so don't let time slip away and the regrets mount over missed opportunities to mix and mingle in what life we have left to live. As we all should know, life is no guarantee.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I have thought for some time now that life on Earth should be different than what it is. My rude awakening came when I had to watch my Mother cry and not know why or how to make things better. I know in my heart that feeling helpless to stop her pain wasn't what life should be about. Life shouldn't have to be sad and hurtful. Maybe it is easier to explain if I told you what life shouldn't be. It shouldn't be without compassion and curiosity. Yet what we end up with is some form of fear for the most part. Everyone afraid to lose something or not gain something. Life should be about experiences not acquisitions. Yet the reality is, it is about acquisitions hundreds times more than experiences. We all should know that the people and the places in our lives gives us the best feelings of happiness and contentedness. Yet off we go most everyday chasing the next material thing that we just have to have. There is some sense of accomplishment in knowing that we can acquire, but accomplishment is pretty hollow when compared to happiness. We have five physical senses that relate directly to experiencing. We hear, see, smell, taste and touch. The way our society is arranged keeps most of us locked in at our jobs, in our commitment to have communications and our responsibilities to family. However, as an individual who has unlimited compassion and curiosity, I wish I could just experience this world, with the senses I have been given, and any other worlds we may apply ourselves toward while I am still alive.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I get to be a part of something special everyday, that being my life. I set the course for how I live. I may not appreciate everything that happens in my life but I get to do everything I can to make those times better. I am the key to how I live. One of the great obstacles, for me, in life has been a complacency or a sense of being too comfortable when seeking to find a safe harbor. It is well and good to be in a place that offers security but not at the expense of my individual identity. Life should be an experience where we mature our identities throughout our lives, not a place where we settle for just surviving by abdicating our freedom to be our individual self. I cannot settle for security if it means I am to become less of who I am. That prison of security will destroy all that is good within me. I need to have the ability to stand for what I know is right despite jeopardizing whatever security I may have at the moment. What I will always carry with me in this life is my respect for my life. A dignity I get to help establish. I know who I am and because of that knowing, my path is clear. It will be on the principles of the best of what humanity has to offer, that is my goal. As I get older and find that it is more difficult to fend for myself, it is natural that I would start to think of becoming more secure. But that thought cannot be just to survive. I must continue to fight for who I am and not what I am willing to sacrifice of my identity to attain that security.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Occasionally I just write something about what is on my mind that makes me happy. Today is one of those days. My heart is filled with good thoughts and memories of the people in my life that have kind words and real smiles. This is how I like to live today. I am a thoughtful and helpful person now and it reflects back to me in my relationships. I say now because previously I was much too selfish and did not make myself available to others when they truly had needs. For this I am remorseful. So in order to rectify my past behavior I have developed a behavior in the present that is less selfish and more selfless. Nice play on words but what do I mean by developed? I have done a lot of soul-searching, made myself become a part of a self-help program that I now love. I have committed my time and resources, such as they may be, to acknowledging my past mistakes and reaching out when the opportunity appears. I am still the same person I have always been but the difference is that I am now a benefit to others instead of a burden. What an uplifting and healthy life I get to lead today. I understand how short life can be and that the truly important things are the way I treat my family and friends. I get it now! It doesn't matter what happens as long as I am doing what is positive and helpful. My actions are a direct reflection of how I want and need to feel inside me.
Monday, September 6, 2010
This subject should not come as a surprise to those who know my curious nature. I have written some on it before but I thought it was time for me to revisit the concept and it's meaning for us all. The vision we should all hold together. It is difficult for me to believe that any person would be against wanting to know what is in our Universe. When I was a child I used to enjoy turning over rocks and looking under them. Nothing has changed accept that it is our "outer space" that I want to examine. How do we as humanity get to a place where we can all take a part in exploring the vast unknown? We all need to have a vision that is greater than just existing on our Earth. I contend as a purpose for writing this blog is to forward our natures of compassion and curiosity. I also state that the denial of either of these two traits allows other manifestations of action and behavior that is detrimental to ourselves and others. In forwarding curiosity and not allowing or making a way possible for curiosity to thrive, we are stunting and decaying the human spirit. Again, we must all be able to have the vision of greater realities than just being Earth bound. Satisfying our twin natures is who we are. We are at our best when we are fully engaged in caring and wondering. A future focused on moving in and amongst the stars and beyond is where the strengths of our natures will flourish.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I often find myself unable to say things because of conventional wisdom, law, custom and moray deem where, why, when, to whom, what and how I may say things, inappropriate. This is fine with me because when we have boundaries and guidelines for appropriate speech, we are all able to communicate in a civil and understandable way. But in my mind, through my imagination and freedom to think anything, the creative thoughts are abundant. I don't need to make sense of anything when I am free-associating. It is sometimes like a cartoon with no plot or reasoning. I had always hoped that somehow a process for recording my own imaginative thoughts to a video would be possible. Talk about cheap entertainment! lol. It is my escape from reality. I get to run in the land of my imagination to help me find what I like about myself and others. I have a real good "forgetter", and as such, I need to be reminded occasionally so that I don't fall into to the peaks and valleys of mood swings. My imagination serves as a form of therapy to help keep myself grounded. Seems illogical, but being creative balances out my logical side. It makes me more human and in touch with life in a way that reminds me to feel what sensations are interacting inside me. My imagination gives me a place to allow the crazy and confusing within me, a home to find purpose and fun.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
No gift in life is greater than to feel love inside oneself for another. Fancy, wild and crazy good may compete in some short term way but soon wither away over time. The illusion that there is something greater than love has survived through time but not through truth. I am only one man and I have only my experience to draw from, however, nothing like love within me has ever been challenged by anything else. Maybe I need more challenges? Could be, but so far nothing has given me such comfort and peace as the feeling of love within me for someone else. I am such a person today that I know in my soul that having the gut-stirring kind of love is a gift from outside of me, to me. I choose to think it is spiritually ordained to me so that I may care for it. It is a gift that, regardless of ever being responded to by another person, will forever fill me with it's perfectness. I have no other way of describing, having a love for someone, than to say it is a manifestation of the perfect. It is the dream place where nothing but the warm rays of sunshine and beauty exist. I know that for the longer part of my life I was without a, being in love, for anyone. In that time I was truly lonely not knowing what anything's purpose was. Now because of love, life's purpose is to never let love leave my life. Nor compromise it away for something close or similar. The gift of love is as it should be, not an asset to be manipulated, but a reason to die for if necessary in order to keep.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Why? This is why. I have always been in need of a vision for my life. When I was first starting out in grammar school I wanted to learn because I did not understand. Once I understood, I needed another goal. I became more interested in learning beyond basic knowledge, but I noticed others in my classes who did not share the same desire I had. It was as if the light had gone out in their eyes. They were content to accept what they had as opposed to wanting more. I look back on these memories and I have come to the conclusion that they had no great hope or dream they wanted to accomplish. They did not have the mystery of the unknown as a personal challenge. In my mind and soul I know that we are all capable of being great human beings with the ability, when determined to show it, to formulate new understandings and/or create new innovations. All of us have this ability within us. How do we tap this potential? We need to have a hope or dream to offer every child that is tangible and possible. Education, must be the start of how we do this. It should be the foundation of every teacher to instill and convince every child that they are a miracle and what their life can be about can be a miracle to everyone else. Before the teaching of knowledge begins the belief that every child knows the truth, that they are exceptional and unique, must have been firmly established. Hope is the great motivator!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What a comfort it is to be at peace within oneself. It is as if nothing that happens around me can change how content I feel inside. It is what I needed to accomplish. How I have done this is with the understanding of my true nature, compassion and curiosity. I am not confused about who and what I am. From this point, I can now reach out beyond myself from a firm foundation that cannot be torn apart by the chaos and uncertainty of life outside my own skin. I am well served by the calmness in my life for it allows me to express my compassion and curiosity in ways, that not only benefit me as a giver but, to those who would receive the best intentioned gifts I have to offer. I truly can be a helping hand to those who would gladly receive. I find that this is the greatest form of interaction I can achieve. I am also sufficiently humble to accept gifts from others when they offer me the same courtesy. The power of the mind and heart working in conjunction is a higher calling all of us may attain. I could not do this however, until I found myself first. I was not angry like I acted at times, I was confused. It took a long road for me to find out that the little boy inside me, who saw only the good in life, never left. He was just waiting for me to come back from my long journey I needed to take in order to find my perspective. I needed to realize through success and failure just how unimportant fantasies really are so that I could appreciate the reality of who I am and what I do best.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
This natural instinct is my most awe inspiring. Compassion gives me a feeling of wholeness while curiosity stimulates my need to know. I was born on this planet with no foreknowledge of where I was or what I was doing here. I was nurtured by my family and taught knowledge as I grew. I am here at the age I am and I still do not know for certain why I am here or the purpose for my life. I have conjectures about the Universe I live in and I mostly guess that my purpose is to know all I can. I get there, (about knowing all I can), by my unquenchable desire to continue to ask questions and seek answers. I have no other conclusion that is logical instead of the process of my nature being my purpose. Maybe something in the future will be revealed about the significance of my being in this existence. For now though, I am left with more questions than answers. My Mother would tell me my purpose is to commune with God. It is a scenario. I have this need to question everything within the Universe and hopefully everything that is without the Universe. Trippy huh? Such is the inner workings of my thoughts. Nothing is taken for granted and nothing is assumed. If ever someone was born into an existence with no knowledge of it and had a nature to want to know everything he can then, for me, I was born into the right place.