I have learned how to pause when I engage my mouth to speak, whether inadvertently or not. Pausing has come in handy that few split seconds. It seems that waiting to hear the full comment before replying is mighty helpful. lol. I, in the past, had liked to jump right in when I thought, what was being conveyed, was clear. More times than not I was correct in my assumptions. However, the times I was not correct really amplified to me the insensitive nature I exhibited of not listening, with the right intent. I was always so eager to jump in to show that I had tremendous reasoning facilities and look at me, aren't I an especially wise one. The deep need to be recognized for what I thought was being ignored, my value, had commandeered my persona. Fortunately, time and experience allows us to see better the reality we live in. All of us are special and desire some recognition for what we know and how we think. Now , back to my problem with speaking before I listen in totality. How I was able to change this was the opposite of how I used to jump the gun on conversations. Instead of thinking that I needed to show how special I was, I came to realize that I needed to show how insignificant I am. I am not anymore special than any other person. I am only just the sum of my experiences and reasonings. Today when I am given an opportunity to express an opinion, I feel deeply honored that others may find some significance in my musings. Humility is my watchword. I am humbled to be alive and involved in life at this level. You know, the living, breathing level. I feel no need whatsoever to show that I am worthy to exist. I am now only someone who cares about others and myself enough that I respect those who talk to me and listen fully when they do.
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