You should hear me in my head telling myself not to ask a question sometimes because it seems that I have not understood some simple fact everybody else did. I mean I really give it to myself and let myself feel embarrassed. This only lasts for a few seconds then I dive in and ask my silly question. It is not about what others think about me it is what I think about myself. It takes me awhile to remember this but the time gap is getting shorter. My ego wants to tell me that I can get by without asking the question so as not to let myself look foolish, but I don't let my ego win anymore. I admit that sometimes I just don't get things. I am not perfect and being human is exemplified in imperfection. It is okay to be imperfect, as long as I realize that when I am not understanding I need to ask a question. Maturity dictates that learning is better than maintaining an illusion of intelligence. The usual result of my allowing people to see my personal ignorance about something that they take for granted is a sarcastic mocking or a snide reference of my perceived lack of intellect. Fine, I can handle what they think of me, they are not the ones I am trying to impress, I am. Here is another positive turn of events for me, a silver lining if you will. I get to show my courage and conquer my fear of being looked upon as a fool. The only stupid question is the one that is not asked. What I reflect out to others is my fallibility, something that is absolutely true. If my life is going to have meaning for me I need to be honest with myself and about myself. The occasional stupid question is a small price to pay to keep my honor intact. Lead by example and not by deception. Never stop asking questions, it is our only path to knowledge, regardless of the price we may pay.
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