Thursday, February 24, 2011
Beyond hope (#755)
Even with my dying breath I realize that my greatest hope may not be realized. Of course that is just logical, even to one who believes in the magic of the unknown. It is difficult to understand this probability will be true and a part of me does not want to admit it. However the greater part of me does and accepts that what seems sublime may indeed just seem that way. I have been raised to give out hope to the possibility that dreams do come true. I have that part of me that knows that life is more about chaos than perfect harmony. Yet still the romantic in me relents to the call of the perfect harmony logic. Why is that? Why is it that the smartest rationalization I own is still at the mercy of the hope I have within me for some other outcome? lol. The astronomical odds of my greatest hope coming to fruition is still like 50/50 in me. If I thought I was a paradox before, this confirms it without a shadow of a doubt. Time will go on and circumstances will change but always within me I will know that the unfilled destiny I do not live is the one that will always lure me back into it's hope. Putting the right words to this in order to make sense of it to someone else is definitely not easy, but I am trying. Of course it is even harder since I am being non-specific as well. Regardless, I need to get this out of my soul and into the light of day. I am only one boy/man who is privileged to live in existence. There are billions of others who also live now and have gone on before me. Have their dreams and hopes been fulfilled? I doubt it as well. Yet my life in my mind is somehow different and worthy of being one of the few exceptions that have ever, or do live. This has been great to reveal in word what I had no idea would be my topic today. Serendipity, providence or coincidence has seen fit to allow me this and I am privileged to take it. Wish us all luck for the greatest hope in all our lives to come true!