Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My internal struggles (#747)
I wanted to clarify something that should be obvious but needs to be said occasionally. I am constantly writing about aspiring to live up to my better and best principles. I quite often fail and that is what I need to address today. There are times when my frustration, at not being able to communicate with some folks using logical understanding, manifests itself in language and attitude that I am not proud of admitting. I don't have to wade into these conversations that are not centered on facts or reality but I do anyway. there are at times within me a need or compulsion to try to reason with the unreasonable. I cannot just let them go so easily without giving an effort to have them rationalize their positions. Most every time though they do not base their rationalizations in logic but instead in belief and their best intuition. Don't misunderstand me here either, I am not saying that every time I am on the side of the correct, I am still learning something new eveyday. What I am saying is that the new I learn is based within logic. My intent to engage in civil debate with those of differing viewpoints is to reconcile our visions. In my mind I am hoping for a bridging of thought that can have a positive influence on our collective futures. I would happily be wrong every time if it meant that we could agree on the value of human dignity and the shared hopes and dreams of all of us. Unhappily I am not so blessed with the positive outcome I hope for and instead end up with less than honorable uncivilized conversations that serve to remind me that I have not arrived at some beautiful place where my words and actions always exemplify my highest ideals and principles. This is my confession that despite my earnest attempts to be the man I most wish to be I still am not him and I have the scars of inadequacy to prove it.