Monday, May 23, 2011
The power of emotion (#843)
My thoughts are in line with how difficult life can be when the emotion of love, in whatever form that takes, has been violated by some circumstance or choice. That does not mean that the positive side of emotion will not get some attention here from me but for the most part is will be about heartbreak. I admit to having had my heart broken. Never before had I felt a kick in the stomach, metaphorically, like I did when I first was in love and then lost that love. The reality overwhelmed me for about a year and although I continued to function, barely, over time I got back to being normal again. It is one of the truely mystical events that happens to us when we can experience being in love with another. Profoundly under-appreciated by me when I was young and now in hindsight, I wish I could have known how wonderfully special being in love with someone who reciprocated could be. Dealing with the remnants of a broken heart is life altering in the sense that the loss is such a physical upheaval. My experience has been to simplify my actions, like just breathe, eat, sleep, walk, sit, etc...until the ability to do more eventually comes. Being logical about emotional experiences does little good since the heart of emotion has no connection to logic. But the idea of logic applied to an event like heartbreak, possibly can be helpful. I have found that thinking of better days ahead helps somewhat and keeping myself busy helps some more, but mostly it is thinking of the little time I spent with the love as a gift and for a moment in time it was mine to experience. I have since felt love and although it has not been requited, I have learned to be mature in the fact that I can't always have what I want or need, but I can still be me in the sense that life has no deserves or guarantees, it just is and be happy about that.