Sunday, August 28, 2011

Stoking the engine of motivation (#940)

I have my own personal dilemmas that I battle with and controlling them or even trying to control them is a daily if not hourly struggle. Often times I convince myself that procrastination is a value worthy of my acceptance, however it becomes clear that after a while it does not work. I may have stalled for a bit of time but the consequences I had hoped to allay eventually come to face me head on. Therefore, at the back of my mind is a solution for control but the will is less than what is needed to confront my dilemmas. What I find is that I get to a point and then I can muster the will. It is not an attractive quality I have allowed to be my process. It is shameful actually because I know I am letting the inanimate control my being. I am The master of my own breath and movement yet I continue to go against my own principles I have come to cherish. It is my natural desires for things I have experienced that keep me locked in a battle over my own best will for myself. I know this is coming off as cryptic but I wanted to show that it applies to all areas in my life without being specific. There are people, places and things that seem to have more power over me than I do over myself. It is this that I am addressing. I have a solution for all the dilemmas in my life. I did not say I would like the solution but I do have one for each dilemma. It is the bane of my existence to do something I don't like, in order to solve something else. I would rather try to find a solution that makes me happy and solves my dilemma. However, no happy solutions are to be found by me. I am left with the less desirable solutions that I know will work, gearing up my motivation to implement them is where I find myself. As my life has gotten along in years it is more difficult to fortify my motivation but the degree of difficulty cannot be a factor. I must again stand up and be prepared to do what I need to do to get where I need to go.

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