Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Life is too short, don't miss it! (#1055)
All the times I have said to myself that I will get around to doing something has not been helpful. I keep putting things off and have since realized that times have changed and I am not the same man I was when I was younger. I am not able to do those things I put off because I thought I could always do them later. I have also since learned that working toward artificial ideals have kept me from making the kinds of friendships and relationships I thought I would have throughout my life. I bargained those things away for the illusion of a better life for myself. I do admit that I was selfish and short-sighted in my opinion of what was best for me. I was able to tell myself that having more and being lauded was a greater virtue than sharing my life as just who I am. I know now that being me is what I should have striven for all this time. I am on the right track now and understand that I missed a lot of important moments and didn't make a lot of important decisions because I was focused on ego-based desires and not just being a human in the lives of other humans. Hindsight in my case has been helpful and telling others of my misdirected life has some closure for me as I move from being driven by the allure of life and not the actual living of it. I am well into the backside of my life and the time I do have left will not be devoted to my ego but instead to my heart. I do not know why I exist as a thinking sensing human but I am one and just being that is all I need anymore. I don't need to prove I belong as a human nor do I need to feel I have the accolades that come with some societal/economical success. I am just another human aware that life is too short and missing my own life is not worth anything this existence has to offer.