Thursday, January 9, 2014

Why me? (#1805)

I used to ask this question to the Universe many times when things went against me or I didn't get what I was hoping for. Like I was born some special being who should through fate or destiny be entitled to a great life regardless of the evidence others produced all around me. The nearly fatal flaw in my thinking that held myself up to a high expectation of illusory worthiness. A very child like behavior. Yet somehow my psyche held on to this fairy tale in some self preserving way. I suppose it has a lot to do with my character now, although I have long ago overcome my irrational expectation of being better than others lol., since I am stubborn and hard on those who would also bring those types of behaviors into my sphere of consciousness. The question I ask in the title though is common for all of us. Why did this happen to me? Like I was either worthy of some event or I was being punished without having committed a crime. But this is life and no rational sense can be made of the whirligig of chaos that occasionally overcomes our careful planning. It happened to me because it could, not that the result was the rational extension of some act on my part. Surely though I can envision a result upon myself from my actions, but that isn't what I am trying to describe. Instead It is the random happening of things without rational definition. Wrong place wrong time, kind of thing. Coincidence, providence or serendipity. The Universe has it's motion and regardless of how I control my motion unexpected acts will still be part of what will happen to me as long as I am still here in this existence. I accept that now without torturing myself by asking why. 

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