Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Admission is the first step toward recovery (#2035)

It doesn't matter what the mindset or behavior it is we need to break away from, we must always start with ourselves. Looking in the mirror and having an honest conversation with ourselves is what I have found as the easiest way to finally break through my own stubbornness in admitting what my reality truly was. I didn't have to dazzle myself with brilliance or baffle myself with bullshit, all I had to do was be honest. As I was the one in the mirror listening to me I had no cause or reason to lie to myself when my intent was to be truthful. Lying can be a problem. When I was very young I tried to lie my way through life but found that I couldn't keep up with the complexity with having to remember all the permutations of life my lies created. I cured myself back then by accepting the punishment and humiliation of my bad character and then moving on to reestablish better relationships. Such had been the case with my out of control drug and alcohol behavior. I finally had had enough and applied the same principles of facing my problems and then acting on the solution. It is a time tested process, being honest enough with oneself to break away from those desires I had previously clung too tight. Even in the face of ignorance, I admit when I am wrong and call myself out for it. I find no harm but instead strength in admitting I am wrong when I am wrong. Such is the process for a cure that works for me. No one is a harsher critic of my choices than me, no one. But if I don't hold myself accountable to my thoughts and actions then it doesn't matter if I am being truthful to myself or not. So knowing the truth of my behavior, is the admission part. Next comes the changing of the behavior. Not always easy there but always worth it once it has taken hold. The strength and sense of empowerment is amazing in comparison to the despair and destruction that forced me to look in the mirror in the first place.

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