When life is touch and go a lot of doubts creep into my mind and I have no doubt everyone else's as well. I don't let those creeping doubts have any room in my mind though. I know where those doubts go. They go to self blame and to fears about what the worst could be. I already know how life works, I don't need another lesson in it. Rather what I do is dispel the doubts and keep my mind thinking positively. Hope is in the title of this blog for a reason and hope is where I find that when things are up in the air as to their outcome, hoping for the best is still better than expecting the worst.
The worst is always possible but I don't have to live in it before it is decided. That hollow gut punch feeling is going to be there regardless of my attitude so why not be hopeful? I can even draw a positive from that hollow gut punch feeling because it tells me that I still care. Emotion is more than real with me, it is part of who I am. I embrace that and when it is times like this, nearing the backside of my life when souls will be lost that I build up my hope despite eventualities. I am no Pollyanna yet I do prefer to fight hard to preserve and encourage life. I choose to let myself believe that the best will happen despite knowing it rarely does. I fight because it is all I know to do to prevent the pain of loss.
So when those doubts come floating by my mind which they inevitably do, I dismiss then as unproductive and unhelpful. They are not fuel for me to fight, they are deflating in so many ways. I don't need doubts to counter a happy reality, my own life has enough examples of loss and pain. But I do have a will that is strong and indomitable. When the fighting time is over is when I process reality, not before. In the meantime it is optimism and hope that surrounds me and the comfort and secure feeling that gives me is immeasurable.
The worst is always possible but I don't have to live in it before it is decided. That hollow gut punch feeling is going to be there regardless of my attitude so why not be hopeful? I can even draw a positive from that hollow gut punch feeling because it tells me that I still care. Emotion is more than real with me, it is part of who I am. I embrace that and when it is times like this, nearing the backside of my life when souls will be lost that I build up my hope despite eventualities. I am no Pollyanna yet I do prefer to fight hard to preserve and encourage life. I choose to let myself believe that the best will happen despite knowing it rarely does. I fight because it is all I know to do to prevent the pain of loss.
So when those doubts come floating by my mind which they inevitably do, I dismiss then as unproductive and unhelpful. They are not fuel for me to fight, they are deflating in so many ways. I don't need doubts to counter a happy reality, my own life has enough examples of loss and pain. But I do have a will that is strong and indomitable. When the fighting time is over is when I process reality, not before. In the meantime it is optimism and hope that surrounds me and the comfort and secure feeling that gives me is immeasurable.
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