I know I don't know a whole lot. I can admit that. I know that I make mistakes all the time. I can admit that. I know that I am selfish too much of the time. I can admit that. I know that I can be an arrogant ass at times. I can admit that. But I also know that I do know a little, I know that I am unselfish as well and I know that I am kind and loving. I can admit these things as well. I am many things some good and some bad and I can admit that too. So there is no need for me to pretend that I am something that I am not or pretend that I am not something when I am. You see the truth of things is what measures who I am and one thing the truth is, is constant in that it doesn't lie.
In my earlier life I thought it was important to make myself look good as much as possible regardless of the truth of things. But what I found out is that living as a deceiver is much worse than admitting my faults as they happen. I am not one who can live on lies built on lies. For one thing it is too hard keeping all the lies straight and for another my soul was depressed and sick. The only benefit I ever saw out of being like that was some extra money and maybe some false respect. I found out quickly that I am not one who prides himself on being congratulated for something I don't deserve. I have a hard enough time accepting rewards or congratulations when I have honestly earned them.
Here is the benefit of admitting the truth about myself and my actions. I have a peace about me that sets me free to feel my emotions in real time exactly as they come to me. I am not busy trying to hide some truth about myself or ignoring it while also missing out on my feelings one way or another. I am not trying to live some false perception so that I can control some situation or group of people. I am living life on my terms. I make my mistakes and then try not to make them again. I learn from them and move on to a better moment. The one thing I know about myself, despite my inconsistencies, is that I want to be a better person and I am willing to do what I can to make that happen.
In my earlier life I thought it was important to make myself look good as much as possible regardless of the truth of things. But what I found out is that living as a deceiver is much worse than admitting my faults as they happen. I am not one who can live on lies built on lies. For one thing it is too hard keeping all the lies straight and for another my soul was depressed and sick. The only benefit I ever saw out of being like that was some extra money and maybe some false respect. I found out quickly that I am not one who prides himself on being congratulated for something I don't deserve. I have a hard enough time accepting rewards or congratulations when I have honestly earned them.
Here is the benefit of admitting the truth about myself and my actions. I have a peace about me that sets me free to feel my emotions in real time exactly as they come to me. I am not busy trying to hide some truth about myself or ignoring it while also missing out on my feelings one way or another. I am not trying to live some false perception so that I can control some situation or group of people. I am living life on my terms. I make my mistakes and then try not to make them again. I learn from them and move on to a better moment. The one thing I know about myself, despite my inconsistencies, is that I want to be a better person and I am willing to do what I can to make that happen.
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