I don't mind living in a bit of frustration if it is for a cause that is right and good. I can disassociate myself from the frustration by compartmentalizing the idea and moving on to other hopes and realities in my life. Such is my complexity. I can reserve and have patience over something that carries a noble principle and when the time comes for it's possible fruition I can continue with my unswerving devotion to it's application. There are other times where the hoping for good and not giving up will unfortunately never materialize. Regardless, my nature is to have no expectation but to only try to make good things happen. It is not in my control to actually make the good thing real. I consider it a burden and an honor in duality. The honor because wanting good things to happen as a priority in my life is not something I had always been able to do; and a burden since it weighs on me that I cannot help make the good thing happen and must wait while events align for the possibility of a successful conclusion. I have actually lowered my vision for my life from my earlier assumptions about my ability to effect change. I am not the wonderkind of my early mind and instead I am just the thoughtful wish of that today. By that I mean I can do what is inside my power to effect change but not outside my power. In the past I would have given up on my hopes for better things because I was unable to make the change. Today, I bide my time and hold the hope close so that when the time for a chance of it happening comes upon me I can be ready to do everything I can help make it so. I have evolved from the avenging angel out to set the world straight, who would get disappointed when failure was my result to a more pragmatic turtle, still running the race to effect change but biding my time in order to maximize my effort to help.
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