(#5232) Through an older man's eyes

      I hear people talking about the past of which I have lived. It makes me a bit nostalgic to hear their interpretation of what happened in events that interest them and for the most part their interpretation is at least fundamental. Yet having been there I know that a two dimensional understanding of things not experienced comes up short in how it really was. So the memories come flooding in like the assassination of Bobby Kennedy. Nowadays that event is not taught as a pivotal event in the history of our nation but let me tell you it was. There would have been no tricky dick nixon to have been tolerated. The Vietnam War would have been over in the sixties not the seventies.
     I remember just how crushed I was when Bobby Kennedy was killed in 1968 on the heels of MLK being killed just months earlier. Plus the vivid stunning event of President John Kennedy being assassinated in 1963. What those events did to us who supported and admired these men was crush our souls like nothing that has happened since. We were young ideologues who knew that the change we were waiting for to happen would now be lost. Our moment in time had passed us with those assassins bullets. What we got instead was a continuation of the hopeless leadership that had promised to stamp out the idea that all were created equal and that the rights of humans individually weren't safeguarded.
     Our hope for a better America and a better world was done in by the forces that would not stand by and let us progress. There were too many who had power and did not want to relinquish it. So killing our hope was too enticing for them not to allow. My generation of baby boomers could well have been a shining metal force in the world but instead we were forged into a lesser metal that now is part of the structure that those who destroyed our hope have shaped. Well not all of us baby boomers dropped our heads and followed where told. Some, and probably more than that, of us have been waiting for a second chance at tremendous change and possibly now we can start to feel that original hope again.

(#5231) Keeping up with house chores

      With a lot less time to work on the daily things that need done at home I am finding that I can still get things done to a somewhat satisfaction despite working 40 hours a week. Remember, I am an older man who has some physical limitations. Yet I am able to move forward on my schedule like I could 20 years ago. I seem to get things done a lot faster when I am focused on preserving time as much as possible. Multi tasking is a necessity so whenever I can do 2 things or more at once I am on it. No rushing or shortcuts but steadily forward. This is my life now until I can get past a few financial obligations that do have an end in sight. After that maybe I will cut back on the full time hours and go back to half time hours or thereabout.
     That is not today or tomorrow though so here I am writing my daily blog early in the morning so that I can be ready to leave for work in less than an hour. I have my morning routine pretty much mapped out for time and duties so that when it is time to leave the house I have all my preparations done. I get up early so that within a couple of hours my time to start my day can begin with no forgotten tasks. Because when I get home after a full day of work I don't have much left in the tank for a lot of chores or projects outside my routine. My brother John will be coming home at the end of this week from his stay in the physical rehab clinic that has been addressing some of the paralysis in his left arm from his stroke. So preparing his bedroom and getting him ready for how he will adjust to his condition has been somewhat time consuming.
     Outside of that though I have some home improvement projects that are kind of on stand by for now until I can find just enough time to continue them. All is good though and I feel like I have a handle on all that is happening around me. So far so good for now and hopefully it will stay that way. I have always known that when the pressure is on in my life I have to be the one who steps up to relieve it. So it is still that way. I will get through this latest episode of trials with a determination worthy of my effort. Life is no free ride so getting started on the solutions that need to be formed on almost a daily basis is crucial to making life just a bit easier for the todays and tomorrows to come. My animals don't understand why I am gone so much of the time now but they too are adjusting and are very happy to see me when I get home.

(#5230) Social Security checks will come no matter what on June 1st and beyond

      There has been some confusion about Social Security and how it is affected by debt ceiling hostage taking by republicans. What is little reported on is the 1996 law, (Protection of Social Security and Medicare Trust Funds) that protects Social Security payments even if the government defaults on it's other payment issues https://www.fool.com/retirement/2023/05/06/are-social-security-benefits-on-the-chopping-block/. None of this needs to occur at all but the republican party likes situations where they can threaten anyone, including seniors who don't know their rights to make them vote for them. The debt ceiling is an illogical tool that has no meaning in this day and age and should be abolished at the next opportunity.
     Much like gerrymandering and the electoral college these anti democratic paradigms serve only to thwart democracy. Yet conveniently for republicans who fight against eliminating them. So when this next month of June rolls around there will be deposits and checks for those of us who are mightily dependent on the insurance we paid for most of our working lives. Never before has the US defaulted on our national debt but that doesn't stop republicans from threatening to do so up until the very last opportunity. But just know that no amount of bullshit that republicans spew out to the public, their fearmongering about Social Security and Medicare are empty threats aimed at causing angst.
     There is enough in reserve for the Treasury to keep paying Social Security for the next 2 years which would take us beyond the 2024 general election. If for some reason the newly agreed upon debt ceiling deal that was reached yesterday does not get done in Congress the Social Security deposits and checks will be there in our accounts on June 1st and beyond for at least the next 2 years. 25% of our total national debt over the last 230 years was created during the 4 years of trump. So republicans threatening to not pay our debt is absurd and actually quite like them since they lie, cheat, and steal as a rule. I fully expect the debt ceiling bill to become law sometime after this coming Wednesday but just know this, All Social Security deposits and checks will arrive on June 1st and beyond regardless of what happens on Wednesday.

(#5229) An uncomfortable truth to white people, there is no reverse discrimination against whites!

      I hear this enough for me to put it to rest. There is no reverse discrimination that some whites like to claim. Instead there is silence from too many whites about the role our white ancestors had in enslaving an African race of people here in America for over 400 years. Or the decimation of the indigenous people who lived in America for thousands of years before we white and a few brown European's brutally colonized. The term "manifest destiny" is often used as a rallying cry by we whites whenever we want to accomplish something that has at its base brutality and rule. These are facts that are the truth of white history. We whites descendants need to man up and express our remorse and willingness to try to make the ancestors of those enslaved and brutalized somewhat whole.
     We whites do that when we accept the role our ancestors played as truth and then apologize with humility and remorse. After that we need to ensure that our black and brown brothers and sisters are fully integrated into our system of equality and opportunity. We whites have not totally done that yet so there is a lot of distrust and anger at whites who think they do not owe anyone anything. Thus what whites are experiencing is the effect from a lack of care on their part. It isn't a reverse discrimination it is just due for their lack of recognizing the role their forefathers and mothers played in denying black and brown's the rights as free human beings. I have not felt any anger or distrust in my dealings with those who were affected by racism and brutality. Because I feel true remorse and want to help those who would allow me that privilege.
     Yes, it is a privilege for me to offer help as a white man to those who were downtrodden by my ancestors. I owe because of what my ancestors did and I will never stop owing during my lifetime to repay as best I can. Our ancestors stole from those who they harmed and I have indirectly benefited from that theft. So I will always back policies that work to undue that harm by making a pathway that allows them to escape the devastation that cruelty and hatred had in determining their fates. All we whites have to do is man up and admit our ancestors faults and then make it right as best as we can. We won't be able to erase the devastating facts but we can continue to correct them going forward so that not only do we not do as our ancestors did but make sure that the solution to that horrible era has an abundance of equity to it that addresses the harm many centuries of abuse has caused our black and brown family.

(#5228) So far, where there is a will there is a way

      If you want it bad enough and are willing to do what needs to be done then most often you will find yourself getting what you wanted. Now some things like personal desires are not likely to happen regardless of how badly you want it but the things that you control are achievable if you are relentless in your pursuit. You don't really know what you can achieve until you put your full focus on getting it. I have failed at things that really mattered to me, not because I didn't give it my all. Some things are not meant to be no matter how hard we try but those are not the rule, they are the exception. Life is like that, some things are easily obtained and some are not attainable at all.
     All I know for sure is that by not trying my best I will not likely receive my hoped for outcome. If I give it my all then I have a chance and that is all I expect. If I don't try and then lament that I didn't get what I wanted then shame on me for thinking I am privileged or I deserve. Because I am none of those things, privileged nor deserving. I am just a single simple human being who wants some things in life that I know I can get if I try my best and don't quit. Recently I wanted to go back to full time work but I wasn't sure my body and mind was up to it. Well given an opportunity to work full time has shown me that I can do it and still be good physically and mentally.
     I have never been one who wishes for the best things in life unless they are things I already control. I just want to get by in this life with a modicum of ease and peace. I don't need to "keep up with the Jones's" I don't need to have bigger and better things than those around me. I just need to have a little bit of comfort and safety that does not extend into any else's domain. My own little piece of the pie as it were. My goals are simple goals also. I don't have time for the long run goals I should have set back when I was much younger but that's okay. My goals now are short term goals that have little to do with anyone else. Like pushing myself into a higher plane of existence both physically and mentally. Testing the limits of my aged self against what was once my younger self.

(#5227) How I celebrate Memorial Day

      In our American culture it is sad that a day we have set aside nationally as a day to remember those who have passed on instead is a 3 day party event with little remembering the dead. I do not go into all the events that are scheduled around these 3 days of no work. I stay home and think about how fortunate I am because those who have given their lives for me to have the right to be a free human being is honoring their sacrifice. I know that given a set of circumstances I too would put myself in jeopardy in order to maintain the greatest form of self rule ever devised in the history of our human species. There is a nobleness to rising above oneself to sacrifice for others that is not equated in all our experiences.
     So those who have passed on doing the great service to us and our future generations need to be remembered and revered for their accomplishments, especially to the death. I am one who understands that quiet meditation on the values that we have only exist because of the ones who are not here with us or who sacrificed their lives for us. They knew what they were doing. They were representing all of us on the battlefield of life in order for all of us to have the right to freely exist. No greater act of courage can supplant the courage it takes to risk everything for others. When you learn that freedom requires defense is when you learn the value of freedom. No one willingly fought to the death so all could have oppression.
     Our freedoms were gifted to us by those who fought and died for them. That is what Memorial Day should be remembered for not the barbecue or concert. Memorial Day is for the dead to be lifted back up to remembrance to all who would see. So that their names and sacrifices are not forgotten or downplayed as something else. There were many real heroes who gave all for us. They should be honored in Memorials all over our nation not just fun and games for the 3 day weekend. Our society has become such as one that relishes the time off from work regardless the reason for it. Sure, that is okay to enjoy time off from work because many gave their lives for that extra day off. It is just that we need to express our gratitude instead of our indifference.

(#5226) The Ukrainian counter offensive has already begun

      Do not expect some large scale fully along the fighting front assault to be what the Ukrainian counter offensive looks like. I believe it will be a series of attacks that may end up being like a broom coming in to sweep the Russians out of Ukraine. Much like D-Day from WW2, an opening will be created followed by an onrush of troops and equipment. From that vantage point all directions into the Russian occupied Ukrainian territory are then available to be considered. Giving the Russians no chance to assimilate their remaining troops into an effective defense. Once a breach is gained then expect a massive assault that will likely put the Russians into a panic and start their chaotic rush back to their own borders and more.
     The Russian troops that are left after over 205,000 of them have been killed in Ukraine over the last 16 months will not hesitate to turn tail and run. They know that the Ukrainian troops are for real and are in no mood for mercy. This invasion by putin is over in the next little bit of time and no amount of strategy by Russia's murdering kremlin will change that. The estimation of Ukraine having over 400,000 combat ready troops for the counter offensive is at least what I expect them to have. They will be able to rout the Russian military everywhere in Ukraine despite fortifications Russia may believe will protect them. Those trenches, mines, and other obstacles the Russians are relying on won't keep the Ukrainians from overwhelming them anywhere along the front line.
     Russia is expected to have only about 200,000 troops spread out along an approximate 1200 mile long land border. You can see the weakness of Russia's defense is the totality of their border. Which should make Ukraine's decision where to attack much more easily. Russia does not have enough troops to withstand Ukraine anywhere along the front so when the push takes place the success rate of it is very high. Strategically Ukraine will try very hard to limit its own casualties while inflicting heavy casualties on the Russians. This will have a demoralizing effect as well and should trigger the retreat of Russian troops in large numbers. If Ukraine does this in just the right way they will lose very few troops and the end result will be that Russia is no longer in any territory of Ukraine.
     

(#5225) First day at new job and it was tough but doable

      Being an older person who is not perfectly adept at new tech on the computers is my biggest obstacle to doing my job well. However, I am learning the basics and in a little bit of time will need no assistance in navigating the odd deliveries that don't fall under the normal protocols. I can't expect myself to remember every nuance being thrown at me but I am getting the hang of where my most important guidelines exist. It may take and surely will a few more days to get the majority of my questions resolved but that is normal in learning new concepts with inventory and placement.
     One thing for sure though is that I like this position and have let those who are in control here know it. Yesterday and today were/are like trial days for me but after the first day of early struggle and then later day of successes I am confident that categorizing inventory and getting it into its proper place is within my wheelhouse. The work is constant and not overly physical so that aspect meets my needs. I like being busy because it helps the day move along at a good clip. Plus the work itself is good work that actually tires me out and that is what I need. Last night I slept good and that hasn't happened for a long long time. The right kind of tired is important for me for not only my body but for my mind.
     So when I am physically tired and mentally tired that means I am giving one hundred percent of me to the job. And that is how it should be. So this morning as I get ready for another day of less uncertainty I am still a bit anxious but not nearly as much as yesterday. The guys in the parts department are helpful but they have their tasks to complete as well so as long as I am not interrupting them too much they are happy enough to keep showing me the ropes. That is how it is done at this shop. Learn on the fly and learn well. I know I have the aptitude for this work but knowing it and applying it are two different paradigms. There is no challenge though that can dissuade me when It is my goal to reach it.

(#5224) The republican party is the part of whips and chains

      The master class is the republican motto. Just ask them what they think about people who are not them. Everyone else needs to be herded to act like republicans and the best way to herd people is to whip them. Just like the cruel property owner of the 19th and earlier centuries. And when the whip isn't enough then the chains come out. Belittling and demoralizing is how the republican party takes a human being and both denies their human rights and blames them for it. Never in the history of the world has that form of treatment ever been fulfilling. Instead of allowing each person the right of life and the right to master their own destiny the republican party is about controlling the aspects of others lives they would never allow to be controlled in their own lives.
     The hypocrisy notwithstanding, the cruel and brutish nature of treating humans like animals, which is an abomination in itself, goes against everything enlightened and ethically acceptable. Yet the simple minds of the republican party and their embrace of psychopathy that is outside the bounds of normal relish in that role. They see themselves as saviors of the world much like the Christ that they secretly hate for being a type of Samaritan. That type of arrogance is typical for those who are not social enough to understand that we each human being have a short life to live and don't need the kind of patriarchy that republicans are illogically convinced we do need.
     If the republicans are not inflicting pain and suffering on the many of us who are not wealthy then they are not doing their jobs. The wealthy keep them around to do their bidding and will not tolerate any republican who is not pulling his weight in hurting people who are not them. The worst of who we are as a species find ways to keep themselves in power and the latest iteration is the republican party. If you think I am embellishing then you are not paying attention and that is another reason for republican support. That, and those who refuse to believe the evidence of their own eyes. It is hard to live in an alternative reality but republican voters have gotten good at it. To the detriment of all of us who are wide awake and angry at those who refuse to defend democracy because it involves everyone!

(#5223) Good vibes today

      My last day as a part time transfer driver for U-Haul has got me feeling a bit nostalgic. Even though I have only been a transfer driver for 2 1/2 months. Yet I still feel a sense of loss as my last day gets ready to start. Tomorrow I will officially become a parts department employee and a new chapter in my life will start at the beginning again. When I was growing up my 2 older brothers were more into motors and cars while I was into sports. So me going into a full time job as an automotive parts guy is kind of laughable. Yet life is a funny little thing when we recognize it's humor. The thing is though I was also somewhat a brainiac as well. I liked academics and didn't do too badly for my efforts.
     So learning new things is kind of second nature to me. Whether philosophical thought or parts inventory, I am ready to accept and meet the challenge. What is great about the parts job is that it is full time and allows me a raise in pay from the part time transfer driver position. As well full benefits will kick in which includes from what I hear a really good healthcare package. Especially dental which at my age will prove useful. With republicans threatening to cut off our social security starting in about 10 days, the timing of my new job may be a life saver for me. I wish no one would lose their social security to republican ideology but people keep voting for them to their own detriment. Those who don't vote for republicans, you have my deepest sympathy.
     My best guess is that we democrats will find some way to thwart the republican idiocy and cruelty to over 66 million social security recipients. Joe Biden will not tolerate the childish attempts by republicans who only know how to throw tantrums and harm into the path of the American people. As to my day today and tomorrow I will post about both over the next few days to help shine a light on my path as an older man returning to the workforce where the young are good at what they do. I always begin new work by treating everyone as my boss with respect and trust. What happens after that is up to them but with this group of guys who I have already met and had a secondary working relationship with, smooth sailing is my expectation.

(#5222) There is my morning and then there are the brutish republicans

      First off I got up later than usual as a treat to myself but then instantly got into my many chores. Almost 4 hours later I am finally done for today. It is still only later morning so a lot of restful time ahead before the early Monday morning work start. Regardless the work I got done today it makes me feel good that I am not procrastinating those things I could easily procrastinate. The fewer things I have left on my mental notebook for doing the better my mind is at rest. Because if I was resting and still had things to do that I didn't I would suffer from a bit of guilt and that would make my rest uneasy. So it is better to get things done and then rest a peaceful rest.
     We are 10 days from defaulting on our national debt because republicans in the House like playing hostage taking. Although a lot of the current debt is from the trump tax cuts for the wealthy the republicans insist on not paying for them. Instead they would rather the 66 million or so of us who collect our social security every month not receive any starting in June. So think about that for a minute. 66 million folks not receiving any money in 10 days will cause most of us to begin losing housing, jobs, energy needs, food, clothing, and many more such basic items. Most bills are paid on the 1st of the month but in June way too many millions of folks will not be able to pay those bills.
     Somehow republicans think that alienating 66 million people who are all most certainly voters is a good idea. The only people who don't want to pay our national debts according to the process of the debt ceiling law are the republicans. But like all republicans they will somehow try to blame democrats for the economic calamity they themselves are trying to create regardless of the suffering it will cause. Like the rest of us don't see them holding the debt ceiling hostage so that they can hurt ordinary Americans. It kind of makes sense if you think about it. The republican party is all in for the wealthy so them hurting the poorer folks is inconsequential to them. We democrats will likely find a way to circumvent the republican plan to withhold social security to the rest of us but let it be known that the republican party is a party of vindictive cruel assholes!

(#5221) A new beginning again

      So yesterday at work, I am a part time transfer driver for U-Haul, I was offered a full time position. When I originally went to work for U-Haul I thought that the best I could do physically was just part time. Well after a few months of doing the job I believe I can go to full time. The reason is that my body is holding up well, no dizzy spells or fatigue. So with things being what they are I am ready to try a full time position under one condition, that it is not too strenuous or involves moving heavy objects. Well it seems that being in the parts department at our work site is not as strenuous or prone to lifting heavy objects as a rule. Which would fit within my requirements.
     I start this coming Tuesday as I wanted to give our dispatcher at least a few days to find a replacement for me. So I will do my last shift as a transfer driver on Monday and then begin my full time employment the next day. I was a little surprised that the site boss offered me the job even at my age, still 67, but I am a people person at heart and I think he wanted me in that department so that I could help it communicate even more with the other departments and vendors. At least that is my strong suit but let there be no doubt the work of categorizing and storing of necessary parts and learning the outline of the in and out process will be foremost.
     I am a bit nervous but also a bit excited. The fellas that work in the parts department are good men and have always been available to me to answer questions and help me understand where the parts that they produce go and to whom. As a transfer driver I was responsible for delivering to other U-Haul stores, when possible, requested parts from our central parts department in our region. Now being a worker in the central parts department I will have some insight into a process that is crucial to an overall smooth running corporation. Surrounded by good people and doing vital work has always been a win/win with me and now I get that opportunity on Tuesday.

(#5220) Peace can only be had through strength

      The mental maturity it takes to understand that peace only comes about through strength should be foundational. Yet there are still some out there who believe that peace can come about just by advocating for peace. Well if the lessons of trump and putin haven't been clear enough that without strength there would only be a subservient peace then there is really little hope that some would ever mature enough to understand. The lessons of Zelenskyy and Biden have been clear that strength is the only path forward to peace. One must fight for peace if one is to have it. There will always be the psychopaths who would make the world their own and being able to fight those psychopaths back is the only way to keep any peace.
     I wish it weren't so that we would have to sacrifice our blood and treasure for the right of all of us, under democracy, to have free rights as human beings. But my wishing is not reality. What is reality is to stand up to those who would endanger all of us through their power. So together we all must commit to each other to protect each other from those who do not want human beings to have equal rights. Instead they want a subservient class of folks who do their bidding instead of having their own free will. Fighting for our rights as free human beings will lead to peace once we have eliminated the psychopaths who will not understand equality.
     So as our military gears up to defend those who are battling against the tyrannical psychopaths we should be right behind our military helping them achieve a safe defense. Wherever tyranny and despicable human beings gather to attack our peace we must stand firm and beat them back with a fury. Because when we annihilate the attackers we also send out a message to others who would steal our peace that there will be no mercy to those who are ready to kill us for their own desires. This next little bit of time will go a long way in our human history of survival to propel us to a world where peace is our purpose but only through strength and the ability to apply it with no mercy!

(#5219) republicans and putin rotten at the core

      There has been no hope for either republicans or putin for years but somehow they have been able to master the illusion that they are worthy. Despite all the logical evidence to the contrary. Which brings me to another reality that I don't want to face given my optimistic outlook. That there are really some not so educated people out there that haven't much of a clue as to how they are being played. I suppose lacking critical thinking skills can be blamed but it is even more than that. It is a satisfaction to remain uneducated that fuels their perceptions.
     Be that as it may, the people who work to use these souls, who are otherwise decent human beings, continue to be the target of those who would use them through new smoke and mirrors tactics to their detriment. I always go back to Plato's Allegory of the Cave in his book The Republic to understand at least partially why those who remain in place do so. There is a safe harbor in holding unto simplicity even in the face of complexity. By ignoring or treating logic and understanding as never do them well mantras the less informed remain safe. Much like the Ostrich with the head in the sand as safety, so do those who choose to live life in a bubble of non understanding. If they ignore it it will go away kind of deal. Yet logic teaches us the opposite.
     Well those of us who are constantly evolving with time and space are saddened by this very popular paradigm of remaining in fettered simplicity. I am glad that I don't tune out to reality and the evolution of time and space because I am no quitter in my life. I will only live one time and to experience as much of it as I can is my mantra. I won't live to exist, no! I will live to know and experience. I am more than just a simple human being. I am greater than little. As long as republicans and putin types continue to exist in power structures none of us is safe from their idea of treating us like property and herding us into an end that will only benefit them!

(#5218) Fear reinforced by the offering to death of their children.

      February 24, 2022 to May 17, 2023 the immoral and illegal invasion so far by putin into Ukraine has been a something for the survivors of the over 200,000 Russian troops killed in Ukraine. I say a something because for the life of me I cannot describe it in clear enough terms. I would under normal circumstances say something like a nightmare or living hell but that isn't the case here. Why you may ask? Simply because 200,000 is not the final count, it is only the amount reached yesterday. With so many young Russian men dying in such a short time you would think the parents of these young males would be outraged and determined to stop it.
     Not so it seems. Instead we hear little outrage at all from the people of Russia. They seem content to let their children die for putin's vision of the world. That putin is willing to sacrifice their children for his dream of bringing anarchy and authoritarianism to the world is wildly unforgiveable and even harder to imagine in a civilized striving world. Yet not much of a peep from the parents of those now dead young Russian soldiers. When this murderous putin invasion of Ukraine began I would have thought that any mass deaths by Russian with little to show for it would have crumbled putin's support and been the cause of him not being in power any longer.
     Well it seems that my thinking is not what the regular Russian thinks. Because for over a year now they have let their psychotic tyrant kill their children with no measurable gain for it. In fact Russia is now on the brink of being torn apart by a Ukrainian counter offensive itching to unleash it's fury. Yet still the Russian people sit on their hands and let their children die in Ukraine. My sympathy stopped for the Russian fathers and mothers soon after the invasion started and now I expect that they are getting exactly what they want. Fear reinforced by the offering to death of their children.

(#5217) Always ready to be busy living instead of the alternative

      At my age it is somewhat counter intuitive to want to be busy getting things done when retirement and relaxation seems more logical. Especially since I tire much more easily after some stress and physical activity. Yet, getting on with living nowadays requires me to get after things and any thoughts of retiring to some warm beach with a cocktail is null and void. First off I quit drinking alcohol a long time ago and second I prefer the cooler climes. I am an odd duck in those respects. Yet the idea of lounging around practicing the art of doing nothing is not really for me. You should know that about me anyway since I almost always write this daily blog with an overwhelming consistency.
     I think about that message carved into the beam of a room in the movie Shawshank Redemption that basically said, "get busy living or get busy dying". For such a little phrase the meaning is paramount for me. I know it isn't a fool proof statement but the intent of it is. So when I do get to take a moment or two to rest I can at least feel good about the accomplishments I am still making instead of relying on memories of my previous accomplishments. I am still tired a lot but in a way it is a good tired. The kind that lets you sleep deep instead of the tossing and turning I get when I am not tired.
     Another factor was my health. I had found that I was close to passing out when I got physical with chores around the house so going back to work, even if part time might not work out. At the beginning it was an adjustment but gradually my stamina built back up to where I was working hard all day long and no sign of dizziness or nausea. Now I am working longer days and more of them to see if I can take on a full time job with maybe less physical options. Pushing myself has always been my mantra because I have always felt I needed to do more to make myself happy with myself. I will always say this as it is true for me. No one works me harder than me.
     

(#5216) Russian troops had better turn tail and run now!

     The putins of the world sit back in their offices and order the death of too many troops in Ukraine. The kremlin and putin are the puppeteers and the normal Russian citizen is the puppet. How much longer will the Russian people continue to let the putins kill them for nothing in Ukraine? Life is short enough without some madman like putin trying his best to end the lives of young people. All for what? So putin can have glory where he does not deserve it? A madman who kills other people so he can look good to himself and those like him is still a madman.
     The Russian people for their part have seen well over a year of death to 200,000 of their countrymen and yet still do little to stop it. It is as if they are not able to understand the consequences of sending their sons to die for nothing more than an attempted genocide of the Ukrainian people. Of course putin sees it as a warning to others in the world who want to live in peace that living in peace is not what putin thinks is good at all. Instead he wants people to live in fear because it helps him consolidate his power over them. What a rotten piece of shit putin is and those who support him are just as rotten in their core.
     The only people who can save the Russian troops from being slaughtered in the very soon Ukrainian counter offensive are the Russian troops themselves. They need to throw down their weapons and run beck to Russia with all their strength. Because Ukraine is about to unleash it's fierce arsenal of weaponry upon them and no amount like the 150,000 troops putin is sending to protect against the counter offensive will survive the onslaught. So the Russian troops need to stop supporting putin and start supporting the right of themselves to live. Hey Russian troops? Do you want to live and let other people live in peace or do you want to die trying to make them suffer? The ball is in your court!

(#5215) Ukraine about to unleash a fury on putin

      The question has been when will Ukraine launch it's much anticipated counter offensive. Well that counter offensive has been on hold but the preparation for it to begin has been steady and successful. Since the plans were leaked by a trump fan the Ukrainians have had to adjust what they were going to do to a more modified and secretive plan. What this has done to the intel that Russia got from the leak is make it nearly obsolete. Which is what Ukraine needed to do to prevent more casualties. Now it is clear that Ukraine is going about the business of knocking out storage facilities and troop concentrations in preparation for their military push.
     So what was a detriment at the leaking of the plans has now turned into a non factor and maybe even a bonus for Ukraine. Russia is still guessing where the counter offensive will finally begin but in the meantime they are losing troops and equipment all along the front line. Russia must be worried that the counter offensive may be everywhere along the front line. Ukraine is still stockpiling resources and the longer it takes for them to initiate their push the more they will be ready with additional weaponry and troops. Whether the Ukrainian counter offensive happened last month or weeks from now Russia is in a bad way and the longer it takes for Ukraine to start their push the worst it gets for Russia.
     So when the counter offensive begins the Russians will have spent the last many weeks being frightened of being overwhelmed and their fear will be justified. Only with the delay their fear has had time to percolate down to their very marrow. They will run from the Ukrainian advance because they know that only death awaits them. Their leader putin is no friend of theirs and they know that. They are but pawns on a board that putin considers expendable. The mighty Russian image is now exposed as false and the only image they project now is one of the defeated before the fighting even begins. Go Ukraine!

(#5214) Still working on the window replacement

      The new window is framed in and now I need to match the siding with the existing. I have replaced the older odd sized window with a square on so there is more siding on the outside that must be installed. I have enough of the siding left over from when I replaced it several years ago but I have to mill it to make it look correct and water tight. Not a problem as I will take my pieces and run them through the table saw to create edges for seams. A few pieces of Z-bar will take care of the horizontal seams whereas making lap seams on the edges will take care of the vertical seams. This new window is 6 inches shorter than the old window so the bottom of this new window needs some special care to make it look like it isn't different in any way other than the z-bar.
     It is a bit of a challenge since not all of the additional siding is in the middle of the field. I have to mill siding that is already on the wall with my worm drive saw and a wood chisel. No problem because if I don't like the final product I can always go to the hardware store and buy more siding and replace the siding I am try to mill. Not spending any money on materials when I have what I need is my goal and I am damn sure going to give it my best effort to avoid the alternative. I take it as a challenge to my skills as a rough carpenter to create my own solution without spending another cent on this project.
     The inside is already for it's application. I am using wood panels to replace the weird wood covering that currently exists. I would have normally used sheetrock, then coated it with several layers of all purpose mud to get to a smooth wall look. However I am tired of playing with mud as it takes between 3 and 4 coats to get the look. Instead I bought some sheets of smooth plywood and will put it on with fine finish nails. Eventually when I have this side of the wall near the fireplace done I will put up Wainscoting with a chair rail look to cover my seams on both sides of the fireplace. But that is for another day. Today I will mill my siding to match and then get that trimmed, caulked, and painted back to the outside house color.

(#5213) No work today so I worked today

      Funny how words mean something different from one person to another. My Job dispatcher says no work today so take the day off. I hear it this way, we don't need you today, but instead that window that I have been trying to replace but was always lacking time, well I have the time today to take the old window out and reframe the hole. After that I still had the time to put the new window in and seal up for now the outside from the inside. The heat outside on that part of the house is severe since today was over 88 degrees. Feels more like 100 in the direct sunlight. Anyway, I couldn't take the heat any more plus I kept feeling like I was going to pass out. 7 straight hours of work will do that to me nowadays.
     So here I sit just now getting to my daily blog post because I was early in starting on the window. I do that sometimes because of the heat. Get as early a start on that kind of work so that I can maximize my time. I figured I would get to the blog post and write about my window experience. Well here I am doing just that. I had all the supplies to change out the window in storage for several months. I just needed it to warm up and then when it warmed up I had gotten a part time job that has been taking up so much of my time. Well not today, haha. I do feel very warn out but happy in a sense since I got to get out my framing tools once again and remember the days I spent framing houses and buildings for a living.
     It is just a window but it was a complicated one. No problem though because like all wise persons I took the time to imagine out ahead what it would take to complete this job. So I had all the materials and the understanding that I was going to need to mill several pieces of siding to make it work with aesthetic and water tight. I don't consider myself a finish carpenter, I am a rough framer but occasionally when I need to mill my own finish materials, or even rough materials, I have the wherewithal to do so. Carpentry is fun when you know what you are doing and have a plan. Well that is all for today on that so tomorrow it is back at it with the end in sight.
     

(#5212) The punk that won't shut up!

      No I didn't watch the loudmouth liar last night and hopefully few did. He is not newsworthy other than he is an asshole showing himself to be an asshole. If there was a silver lining out of cnn showing him in a town hall setting is that there should be a large block of voters who will now not vote for him for anything. As for cnn they can go suck eggs in a closet. If they are not now shown to be ratings hogs then they fucked up even that. I will not turn on any of their coverage of anything going forward. I can only imagine but surely it isn't that hard that the whole affair last night made many sick to their stomachs.
     We knew that the liar of all liars would harm his image even more for his part and from what comments I have seen on his "performance" that is a fact. If there were any truly independent voters leaning his way he gave them pause for running from him as fast as possible. I don't know how many times it will take for folks to get that he is a cowardly simpleton who thinks he is a genius. He is fed his racist misogynist crap by those who most agree with him. Which by logic makes him a racist misogynist pig! As well those who most agree with him are the same. One can only imagine what percentage of the population that is but my estimation is that it is in single digits.
     What is left that will vote for him are the idiots who cannot distinguish fact from fiction and who cannot admit they are idiots! So about 25% of the voting population will ultimately vote for him should he be eligible to run for president in 2024. So the other 75% should be primed to vote for President Biden and if even 65% vote for Joe then just know that the House and Senate will be back in total control of we democrats. I suppose it is somewhat a good thing to keep him front and center on the republican stage so that the republican party can suffer the ultimate indignity of having pooped their pants on a national stage for all to see.

(#5211) Do not abet idiots or conmen

      The spectacle of circustry is not a value to behold or pay any attention toward. I know that some feel the need to know what the idiots are doing but for me it is easy enough to know beforehand. When the idiots are given platforms to do their jester performances of illogic the need for me to pay them any attention is nil. I have better things to do then spend my mind on things that are negative or backward in scope and only benefit those who would try to make money from us to our own detriment. Much like a car crash on the freeway mentality. There is no good to be had from staring at it.
     If I need to be entertained by being stupefied then I have more problems than I can grasp by myself and instead need to seek out professional help. There are only so many moments we all have and wasting them on some decrepit deceiver making money off of us and we allowing it is not one moment I would ever grant. It is bad enough that a professional organization is conspiring with an idiot to fleece us is unconscionable to begin with and they should be given nothing for their efforts to show we are the masters over them. But alas, too many of us are not aware enough or is it woke enough now to understand that abetting the professional organization is akin to helping them.
     Tonight I will be doing anything else than watching a fool make fools of others. I have more important things to do like laundry or cooking or cleaning or watching sports or some other entertainment. Anything else is better than giving my time to those who would harm our society to make a buck while lying to us about all of it. Most of you know what I am talking about so follow your best instincts and deny the fool his audience. Shame on those who willingly support the fool to their own harm but nothing can be done about them except to offer them lobotomies. Anyway, If the fool gets low ratings and the professional organization broadcasting it does as well then we may be maturing as a society and that is a good thing!

(#5210) Russians are scrambling not knowing where they will get hit in Ukraine

      The fear that Russians are experiencing is palpable. They are much like a chicken scrambling around after its head has been removed. I did not want to invoke that memory of mine because it was so devastating to me as a child and friend of those chickens but nothing is more appropriate to describe the awfulness that the Russian invaders under putin and the criminal kremlin are going through. For weeks now the front line Russian troops have been stewing in the thought that a massive and heavily armed angry Ukrainian juggernaut were about to unleash a fury on them unlike they have ever experienced.
     So not only are they quaking in their boots but many of them have deserted to safer areas away from imminent death. Who can blame them when the Russian hierarchy is employing the strategy of sacrificing soldiers because they don't have weaponry enough to do anything different. So into the meat grinder thousands of troops go and never do they return. If the anxiety they are feeling isn't enough the waiting for the Ukrainian counter offensive is frazzling their every nerve. It is amazing how the audacity and belligerence of the Russian military that showed up early on has been turned on it's head by the will and courage of the Ukrainian people.
     So will the full Ukrainian counter offensive start tonight or will it start in a few weeks? Who knows for sure other than President Zelenskyy and his advisors. We do know one thing for sure though and that is the Russian troops on the front line will not be able to defend their positions with any conviction. Once the mass killing of them starts the rest will not stick around to try to stop the inevitable because the Russian troops on the ground there know that they are just marking time with their lives. They are not fighting for their homeland, no! They are there because they were forced to go by their dictator tyrannical leader. Soon the fear and anxiety will be gone from the Russian troops but only to be replaced by the silence that only death can assure!
     

(#5209) To the people who vote to harm other people

      What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you think that hurting other people is a good thing? 
There is a sickness to it that you are embracing. If you are not voting to help people who are both desperate and suffering then you are a monster who cannot see that back in the mirror. That is why I am here to tell you so you don't think you are anything but a monster. No amount of ignorance nor choice by illogic will save you from what the rest of us clearly see as you being a bad seed! How in the world did you get to be such a despicable person? Are you unable to think for yourself so you let others do that for you?
     Nothing in this world is so complex that it is difficult to understand. When you see harm being done you stop it, not let it ride! When you side with doing harm for nothing more than your racist or misogynist viewpoint then you are the disease that is killing the body politic. Our society is one of a melting pot and losing sight of that is your first mistake. Your second mistake is getting butt hurt over your being inconvenienced by the truth that relays facts and truths. Your third mistake is not taking the objective viewpoint about all debates going on and not siding with those who do no harm.
     I could go on with a list of mistakes it takes to want to hurt other people because you can but I don't have the patience to be anything but outraged at you for being a willful dupe! So I will instead remind you that your inner character is a mess and your behavior proves it. You will not have a happy life in this existence because you nonchalantly go about taking the happiness away from others. Your sadistic purposes are your tell and your life as I see it is wasted and nearly too far from repairable. In lieu of that the best thing you can do is take your miserable excuse for a life and hibernate away from the rest of us who know that improving our society toward benefitting all of us is the only path forward!

(#5208) Everyone is a leader

      I have thought about this for some time. The old thought about some are leaders and most are followers is a false consideration. To me all are leaders. Some are leaders in ways that inspire and motivate the many of us and true there are not a lot of those but for the most part many of us are leaders in ways that affect less of us and that is good as well. Whether a national leader or a local or even a leader of 1 or 2. We all lead with our convictions and knowledge. Now some of us are not good leaders since they don't understand that leading is a virtue not a method for enrichment or power.
     But most of us are good people and lead as we are able. I think of myself as a leader in a small way because what I feel inside is to help where I can. But others are gifted with great notions of right and good with the wherewithal to bring those effects to the many of us. Our society allows us under democracy to be able to bring the goodness within us to fruition. This is but one of many reasons why I fight so hard to preserve our democracy. We as individuals have a chance to fulfill our dreams and hopes with desire and merit. If we work hard at our purposes in life we may see the results we aim toward for us collectively.
     I am not a follower as such to give my free will over to anyone. However when I am inspired by someone or some thing I am readily able to incorporate that conceptualization as something of value. Worthy of folding it into my own concepts of right and good. I allow others to help shape my meager understandings when those new understandings stand on the same bedrock of honor and noble intent. But what I do with those understandings after processing them is on me like it is one everyone else. So what we do with what we know makes us a leader whether in big ways or small, leaders nonetheless.

(#5207) Time to pay the piper for putin!

      The enormous counter offensive of the Ukrainian armed forces and organized resistance within the currently but not for long occupied territories of Ukraine are imminent. Some, me included, believe the counter offensive has already begun, albeit in a more cautious, probing way. With the plans for the counter offensive already leaked by a maga sympathizer in the US government to favor Russia, the counter offensive had to undergo a reshape of sorts to negate as much as possible the possibility that the opinions of the US government concerning the counter offensive weren't a head fake ploy. That being said the time since the leak has been sufficiently passed so as to lessen any concrete strategy that might have been in place at that time.
     Much like an avalanche forcing its way down a mountainside, the Ukrainian counter offensive is going to be unstoppable when it is timed to happen in full. The conditions were set months before in the hard work of causing a lot of attrition to Russian forces in the effected areas. The how the counter offensive will take shape is still a mystery but the effect will be nonetheless efficient. The Russian brain trust, such as it is, already knows that their time on Ukrainian soil is short as evacuations have already begun. As well the retrenchment of Russian forces to more defendable positions within Ukraine signifies their understanding that they are not the aggressors anymore.
     The exposed internal fighting among the leaders of the Russian forces has also thrown another layer of unwanted complexity upon the putin led invaders. Turning on themselves just when the Ukrainians are about to unleash a vengeance upon them is not good timing for their ability to survive. The total Russian mismanagement of their invasion of Ukraine when they had all the momentum and power at the beginning has made Russia look foolish and inept. Now Russia will also be neutered going forward as they have already lost nearly 200,000 troops and more than half their conventional armaments over the last 15 or so months. The end of putin and Russia as a perceived world power is nearly here. The Ukrainian counter offensive will be the hammer that will imminently drive that nail home!

(#5206) putin should have backed off the invasion of Ukraine when trump lost the White House

      Just goes to show that an arrogance as big as putin's couldn't see that without the alliance with trump in the White House he could never take Ukraine. But putin and his ego are intertwined such that not even logic can penetrate the coupling. The only way putin could have taken Ukraine is if a reelected trump followed through with his plan to steer clear of contesting putin and keeping NATO from building a coalition. The collusion between trump and putin is not new and trump himself has stated publicly that he would have stayed out of the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
     The despicable trump fortunately was even too much for Americans so much so that we voted Biden in as his replacement. Joe Biden has never been a fan of putin and instead knows that putin is an ego maniac who would march on the whole of the world if he is not stopped in Ukraine. The murderer putin should have known he would be facing the US, others, and the rest of NATO in a proxy war but he choose not to grasp the implications. instead today putin is faced with more than half the loss of his conventional armaments and nearly 200,000 troops. What putin gravely miscalculated was not only the will of the Ukrainian people to fight for their lives like hellcats but the resolve of Biden to assist them.
     The moment trump lost the 2020 election putin should have removed his troops back to their barracks and wound down his rhetoric about enslaving the Ukrainian people. Without his ally trump, putin was in no position to fight an invasion that would include Ukraine's allies. His bluff to capture Ukraine with all the bluster he presented was matched with a steely eyed gaze from the rest of the world. Again putin had a chance to back down when his ally trump failed to be in position to help the megalomaniac putin. But the ego of putin and the filthy minds that are installed in the kremlin were beyond logic and common sense so almost 200,000 Russian citizens are now dead because of it.

(#5205) Ukraine is about to knock Russia back on it's heels

      Slowly but surely the Ukrainian counter offensive is shaping up. We can already see some pre counter offensive maneuvering by Ukraine toward Crimea and the supply chain that would help defend Russia's stolen Ukrainian land. With nearby Russian ammunition supplies and energy reserves being destroyed plus the forced backing off of the Russian air fleet, the readiness for attack by Ukraine is imminent. Getting the Russians to their weakest strength just before attacking them is crucial to not only a quick forward movement but by far a greater chance to minimize Ukrainian casualties.
     With the proper strategy and plenty of modern weapons Ukraine should be able to move Russians from most of their territory if not all Ukrainian territory. But just taking beck Ukrainian territory is not enough. The Ukrainian's then need to protect their borders from any later counter attack by the Russians. So the absolute need for F-16 jets to patrol their borders and discourage any consideration by the kremlin to not learn the lesson of this failed invasion into Ukraine. Once the counter offensive has achieved it's goal of driving the Russian horde back to their borders then and only then can Ukraine change it's strategy to a completely defensive posture.
     Their is a concept in my head; to create some kind of demilitarized zone between Ukraine and Russia so as to monitor the Russians in ways that their treachery deserves but that is not where we are at this moment. Just getting the Russians out of Ukraine and then protecting the Ukrainian border from troop/spy incursions and missiles needs to be job number one for now. Any day now we will hear about the counter offensive and in the meantime the Ukrainian's are continuing to weaken and disperse the current Russian defenses that the Russians think will stop the will of the Ukrainian people. Russia has another hard lesson to learn very soon!

(#5204) I know who I am by knowing who I am not

      This of course is not absolute in its application but for the most part it is an effective way of discovering who you are as a person. After the trial end error period of our youth we had at least started to form a baseline. But like all things as we grow older some of our earlier foundations have shifted. Not in demonstrably chaotic ways but more like subtly. More nuanced for the most part. As we get older the subtle movements within our original understanding of ourselves are evolving but the main path we had found remains undeterred. I ams who I ams like Popeye the cartoon character would say.
     Some things were immediately knowable as to who I was at a very early age. I knew I wasn't one to be a bad guy. Never have a felt any inclination to harm others for my own self interest. Instead I have always wanted to be the opposite of that and help people who need help. I know this about myself and have never needed to trial and error that conclusion. Some more difficult decisions about who I am do need some form of trial and error and that is an effective way to know for sure where I stand on those complexities. What I will say is this that when we have a question or doubt about who we are then we need to find some form of an equation in order to get to a conclusion.
     Never leave yourself in limbo as to how you see yourself. Very rarely are things cut and dry as to what we should be and do in all situations. But the sooner you know who you are not, then the sooner you will get to who you are. Often the process of elimination is simple but as well many situations are more complex. The point is to keep at it until you know where you are and who you are at that moment of realization so you can move forward. We are constantly upgrading our knowledge and adding more information about ourselves to our understanding of who we are. Why should we keep at trying to figure out who we are? If life is going to have any meaning for us then knowing who we are and what we will hold dear or fight for is an imperative for our rational existence.

(#5203) The conversations in my head are starting to leak out into my voice

      No doubt we all have some kind of running commentary in our heads. For the most part they are just unspoken observations about what is going on around us. Well I absolutely have those kinds of conversations going on but now I am finding that when I am alone they are coming out as spoken words. So no more am I seeming to be talking to myself but I am actually doing so. I have recently caught myself talking out loud about stuff that was only going on in my head. Which by the way is where these types of conversations need to remain.
     Because the thinking in my head is often rough and not refined. So if anyone else may hear my inner thoughts now outer thoughts then I would probably need to explain away the at times uncivil colloquy with myself that is lacking moderation. It is an area in my life where I need to put more effort into the initial catalyst that stokes my musings. In other words I had better treat my inner tongue the rules of proper conversation. I kind of laugh at that last sentence because my inner thoughts don't wait around for me to edit them properly. So it is with me and I know after hearing myself out loud in what I always assume is in a private conversation that I need to upgrade my grammatical context.
     I am at an age now where it wouldn't be a surprise to many that my outer babblings were considered course and trite. I don't want to be that guy who disabuses the spoken word because I didn't teach myself rules of etiquette and positivity when I still can. It is one thing to be a good public speaker always looking to modify language to fit circumstances in the best of light but it is another if that same person is heard talking to what he thinks is himself and does not apply the same courteous protocol. Getting my head together may be late in my life but at least I have a good intent to do it and regardless of age always find ways to learn and evolve.

(#5202) I am going to be slow today

      It is not the same as when I was a younger person. I could do things with far more zest and enthusiasm than now. So when I have been doing a bunch of work I cannot bounce back like before. I need less work but that isn't the case at the moment so my only sensible response to that is to slow down. I am usually a high flyer so to speak so slowing down won't be easy but it is necessary if I want to stay safe today and still be productive. Once this day is over then I can rest like I need to and slowly do my house chores tomorrow. Of which mowing the front and back yards is included. lol. Not much rest on my rest day but at least I don't have to finish everything tomorrow. I can get whatever I leave undone for Thursday, my next day off.
     As long as I get the work done that I am tasked with slowing down a bit won't be a detriment. When I am tired like I am making sure that my movements are safe becomes a greater priority, thus the slowing down strategy. There was a bit of a push this weekend to accomplish some things at work while I was also dealing with the effects of my brother being in the Hospital, now in the rehab center. Plus some extra duty taking my dog Billy in for his haircut. Just a lot of busy stuff that me an older man is less able to shrug off at the end of the day. I don't mind admitting that I am not full of vigor anymore but I am also not unable to be part of a rush if needed.
     I sit here this morning thinking about how my day will go at work and hopefully it will be less stressful than the last 3 days. I believe it will be but when the control of things are with other people there is no way to be sure about how the day will go. Yet for me the strategy of not rushing will help get me through this day. I like my life right now and even though the demands on it are many it is still mine and keeps me happy enough. However, when this workday is over my head will be heading for a laydown with the rest of my body so that I can get recharged and less tired. Nice to have that little motivation out ahead of me. :)