Saturday, March 23, 2013
Romancing the illusion (#1513)
There have been too many times where I have thought about going back to a time in my head where all was good and fun. I catch myself before I daydream too much in this way because I know in my soul that not all was good and fun. The attraction to go back to a time in my youth where all things seemed possible is strong, but what appeared to be such a wonderful time was only my imagination creating something more than what reality was. It is not only an occasional wakeful daydream but in my dreams at night I also fantasize about the past with a masked view of things. The power these daydreams and sleeping dreams have over me is enough for me to stay on guard against their power to persuade me to change back into who I have moved on from. It is interesting that I have to fight against the temptations that my own self creates, as well as what others wish me to do as well. I am well fortified against these allures and can write about them here with the knowledge that they are nothing new and nothing as well will change the negative outcome if I give into them. I am speaking about my own addictions to escaping reality and to throwing off my principles of honor. I am the better person today for having moved on from my past trials and errors and for that I am grateful. What I do know when temptation comes around is to stop long enough out of the "dreams" and then consider the consequences of what would things be like if I gave into them. I know what they are since I have given into them in the past and like all illusions, they disappeared and left me with the cold hard reality of my failings once again.