Friday, July 18, 2014
Those who refuse to apologize (#1995)
I have encountered certain folks who have a strategy of "no apologies". I find it difficult to comprehend why some would not employ a normal act of contrition when they are wrong or have wronged others. What I find they have in common is a sense of weakness implied within the act of apologizing. I think differently about that. Surely there are times when apologies are used to garner sympathy as a strategy or when it is used too often as a default response whether the apology was legitimate or not. My take on apologies is that they are significant responses to inappropriate acts or inaccurate assumptions or thoughts. I find that apologies serve to unite us when we have moved apart for whatever reason. What I find with some that do not apologize at all for anything is that they want to build an illusion around themselves that they are never wrong or that apologizing is a weakness never to be experienced. Either way it is fallacious to think that we are never wrong and that apologizing as a legitimate response to a harm is weakness. For me, it takes courage to admit when I am wrong if I have gone to the point of not seeing the wrong until after it has caused a harm or has disseminated false information. Confident people who have respect for themselves and for others do not mind admitting a factual error or act. Arrogant people who find it impossible to apologize for being wrong can appear to be superior at first glance by using confusing false arguments to hide their errors while never admitting they are wrong, yet in the final analysis they are wrong and are instead denying or refusing to accept reality as it is. The ego it takes to hold to a no apology strategy while castigating others who do apologize in legitimate ways is one hell of a false construct. What it exhibits to me is a person who deals with being wrong with an illogical sociopathic fervor. Perhaps a defense response to one's own inadequacies? Perhaps.