Tuesday, July 22, 2014

What our broken hearts teach us (#1999)

Yes, that soul crushing, kick in the gut sensation we get when we have our hearts broken does serve a purpose. The old make lemonade out of lemons analogy. The first thing I learned was just how fragile my big strong self was. I had no idea I could be folded up into a miserable ball of despair just by someone else not feeling about me like I felt about her. I look back on that now and I smile a bit although believe you me, the wound is still there but not as intense. After some time has passed we move on from our broken hearts but they never quite disappear altogether, at least that is my experience. The next thing I learned was that life, being now more fragile than ever to me, is a sacred gift, not to be taken for granted. I learned to appreciate all of life whether human or not because if I could be so wrong about my own weaknesses, I realized that I could also be wrong about my own strengths. I used to think of myself as being more than I actually was. An immortal mindset given to a too massive ego. Have your heart crushed and then try to tell yourself you are some sort of demigod. So my perspective changed. I began to understand that I am just one of many here in existence with the will to have a special life. I am part of this existence, not the reason for it. So I am now much more sensitive to others and how they are living as much as I am about myself. That old saying of we are stronger together than we are apart is much more often true, than not. So I live my life now with no expectations and although my heart was shattered awhile back, it is mending nicely but slowly. I still do fear having it wrenched and twisted again but I am not given to quitting on finding someone who finds as much love with me as I hope to find with her. My broken heart has amplified compassion within me. I knew what physical pain felt like and now I know how terrible emotional pain feels as well. I am truly changed by that and for the most part, I am a better person for it.

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