Monday, August 11, 2014
We can break the chain (#2019)
We don't have to treat others the way we were treated. I look back within my myself and remember the cruelty that I offered to some with little to no hope. It was who I was for a time and a shameful memory indeed. How could I have been so insensitive to others when I had known what cruelty felt like. The lesson I learned from that is the cruelty done to me was not justified in doing to others. I just passed along a horrible behavior not worthy of human interaction. Now I wasn't some stone cold harmful person but I was less than honorable enough to know that I needed to humble myself and accept my part in the cruelty that I embraced. It was my choice and regardless of how I justified it to myself at the time, I was wrong. It is common from my perspective to react in ways we are taught when we are younger. So for me to express cruelty was the continuation of system of behavior I had unfortunately become accustomed. So many times I had heard that it was weak to forgive and move on. The people in my life expected a hardness from me and in my desire to fit in with my peers at the time I needed to be cruel to be respected. It didn't take me long to figure out that the people I wanted to fit in with were not worthy of my time. I quit fighting against my noble principles of life and dismissed cruelty out of my life. I am now free to be sensitive to others and stand up for what is right and virtuous without needing anyone's approval. I may be alone in my daily life because I won't tolerate being around people who are still living hard against what they know is right, but at least I am satisfied in my soul. I broke free from the chains of bad behavior and so can everyone else. It was life affirming once I found my own path for behaving and I wouldn't trade any of it for all the whatever in the world. I feel the sting of my past actions to this day but that is my burden for not recognizing that my "need" for acceptance should never have gone before the honor I had within me.