Because of that guilt I was experiencing I was able to reform my life from my selfish ways back toward doing more good things instead. I am not perfect in my attempts but no one can doubt my sincerity nor my intent, because I don't doubt my sincerity nor my intent. What I tell myself since I have no way of knowing, is that my life is being recorded somehow by our universe and what I do while I am alive will be known. I may be fooling myself here by making up some kind of sovereign, however it does work for me. I am not talking about a God per se, but I am allowing myself to be subordinate to what is good while discarding temptations of thought and action that produce guilt from my life.
I have matured beyond the idea of a quantifiable life measured only by time to a quality based one built upon the actions, thoughts and good deeds I produce. No longer do I fight against nature in order to lengthen my life span. Instead I fight against the idea that we all don't matter. I fight against the idea that our society cannot improve. I fight against the idea that selfishness is the greatest reward and nothing else matters. I fight against whatever is opposed to each of us having a quality life. I see myself as a starship in the universe for what is good about our species and an enemy against all who would make us less than the heroes we are all capable of being.