Life is not that difficult to figure out. Just remember your innocence and seek your inner happiness. I know we have to face the ugliness of the world when it pops it's head up but that shouldn't change who we are. I can compartmentalize having to fight ugliness with ugliness but only until the ugliness has been vanquished. It is a price we pay for being in a chaotic existence where the best of who we are is denied by too many of us. Never forgetting that who we are is what we fight to preserve. A being charged with curiosity and compassion. A worthy being when we are in tune with each other.
So the record of my life is being recorded for who or what I don't know but I know that at least I know. Everything I do is a conscience choice by me to make. What will decide what choice I shall make? For me it is simple. Love. The greatest thing a human being has ever known or will ever know. All else is just animal, mineral or vegetable. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linnaean_taxonomy. So what we do while we are alive is what matters. Are we doing what is best about us?