Monday, June 15, 2009

My Mortality (#136)

I was thinking this morning about why I seem to be driven and focused with a purpose for my life more-so now than in the past. The answer came to me in a short thought, I am closer to my end than I am to my beginning. I am mortal and the clock continues to tick off the number of days I have left to live. There is no magic or super-revelation that is going to allow me to live beyond my past due date. Knowing this to be a moral certainty has been the cause of my vigilance toward living my life in a full and focused way. Certainly my mortality doesn't make me what I am but it serves as notice that whatever I will be, must be worked on and not procrastinated away to some later date. My perspective is also enhanced by my experience which tells me that windows of opportunity remain open only for so long. I need to be aware and utilize them when they appear. This explains my vigilance but it does not explain my motivation. Idealism is the answer. All my life I have been a witness to, and occasional participant in, injustice. How all of that came into being I can't explain but I know deep within my soul that every instance of injustice has taken a piece of my heart and pained it. A solemn angst has been my physical experience and a depressing mood has filled my soul. I will not be a party to injustice or allow it to manifest itself in my presence another time as long as I am able to reverse or stop it. My life has been grand in that I have had love and been privileged to know friendship. There is nothing that could stop me from fulfilling my desired purpose of living my life with the passion of creating a just world for humanity.

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