Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Pushing through the hard (#1110)

Doing what has to be done despite the degree of difficulty. I am not just talking about ability or availability, I am talking about whether one even has the strength to do what needs to be done. The power of raising above one's own understanding in order to accomplish a task that seems highly unlikely. I know what my strengths and weaknesses are yet despite that, I do find a way to manufacture a good result out of sheer force of will. An undying determinism that speaks to how we as a species are capable of greater imaginings than what is normally expected. I amuse myself sometimes with my inventory of doubts about what I can or can't do and then when something needs to be done, there I go and get it done. It is a good thing I don't just rely on my own calculations about my abilities, sometimes it just takes a hard nosed effort to complete that which seems difficult at best. These are the times when we get our best stories to tell, when we complete a project under circumstances that often belie credulity. it is in the hard that we find our most compelling self-worth. It had always been some little thought in my head as I was growing up that I needed to validate the worth of my life. I wanted to justify that I was worthy to be called a human by the definition of human I held in my mind. Of course I grew out of this need to justify myself to others for the wrong reason and instead, grew into the need to justify my own personal value to myself. I do that by being honorable at every chance I am able, by being noble and just in my dealings and for the most part, standing behind my word when it is given. I am not always successful in how I justify myself to myself, but that I don't quit or shirk my responsibility is the point and even when the responsibility is hard, I push through with my best and let the fact of the matter define my truth.

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