Thursday, October 29, 2015
An imperfect life (#2463)
That would be mine. I can only be sure of my life so that is the one I am examining. I have had the privilege to be able to look at myself without an blinders on and it hasn't been as easy. It seems that I can vividly remember my mistakes far more than I can remember my successes. It isn't because I have few successes it is because I am a humble person and success does humble me. On the other hand I have no worse critic of myself than me. I am a harsh taskmaster when it comes to my thoughts and actions. I have made enough mistakes to know this is very true. More often than not it is difficult not to feel hypocritical about what virtues I often espouse in my writings when I know that I have fallen short of my own words. I "feel" the hypocrisy in the form of shame when I shout to the world that we should be doing this when I am guilty of not doing that "this" myself. But the shame is always tempered with the intent of my shouting. I write this blog for me more than anyone else. It helps me clear my mind of clutter and focus at least on one particular thing for at least the waking day. So when I am shouting for us to be a more human and virtuous society I am pointing the finger directly back at myself. For the very reason I entitled this post, an imperfect life. As I am getting older and wiser I find that those past imperfections of mine need to be corrected in some way and I am not too proud to admit that. How that will come about is still unclear in my own mind but know this, if I could go back and make things better I would in a heart beat. My own hindsight into my own real past life is objective so I am not akin to making rash decisions going forward but in some way yet not known I have an intent to clear my past of the rubbish I allowed to pile up. We all have our own struggles with our pasts and this is just me declaring that mine is no different in many ways than the rest of you, an imperfect life.