When I have finished with doing all I can do and it isn't enough I often feel like I am not good enough. That is wrong thinking on my part. I have these great expectations for myself and they are almost impossible to live up to. I know this yet I still feel a let-down when I fail to achieve them. It is my nature I suppose, that whatever I can see in my mind happening should be able to be accomplished by me. I know this is not a reality I can control, but nonetheless it is my force of nature to expect it from myself. I love the fact that I am so driven to make what good in the world I can regardless of whether it is possible or not. It is this redeeming quality that I have that makes me feel a sense of disappointment and frustration at times. I am so predictable in that I hate fear, suffering and misery. Doing all I can do with what I have at the time it is needed is good enough. The outcome will most always be less than what I hope it to be but the outcome will at least have felt my attempt. I continue to strive to be a better person who can contribute even more to our existence. I will never be satisfied with not growing into someone more capable of better things. But as each snapshot in time reveals to me I am not done improving until I have no more breaths left. I am content however that I continue to care to be at least good enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment