I am me (#2182)

I am not you, nor my ego, just me. That simple little boy who first became aware and could see all the possibilities in the world. I am much older now in years and experiences but nonetheless, I am still me. Becoming aware that earlier in my life I had strayed from me into something my ego had created was eye opening. I had all the expectations and ambitions that I had conjured up out of the whirligig of chaos within my life. I had turned myself into a automatic like person saying and doing what was reasonably allowable to get what I wanted or thought I needed. No more! I found my way back to me when I stopped trying to be something else. For awhile there I was nowhere, neither me or the creation in my mind. I was in a sort of pause. But with patience and humility I remembered my young life and how I had such great hope for all around me and that is what I have rekindled within me. It takes a really thick skin to remain that little boy that I was but despite the calls of me being naive and foolish, I push forward. Because the calls from others for me not to be myself seem naive and foolish to me. I don't bend to peer pressure or to trying to keep up an appearance that is illusory, I will for the rest of my life only live up to what that little boy in my memories saw as who I would be. It is invigorating and liberating to know that none of the current race for stuff is at the top of my priority list. Instead I have my curiosity as my greatest priority and my care for all things honorable and good right there with it. I have me back and not my ego or some expectation that others have laid upon me. It is me here and for that I have found such a good vibration within myself that I had to share it here with any who would read this blog post.