I cannot and will not live a life that leaves me wondering what could be or should be. I want what must be and for that I am satisfied. I don't get everything I want contrarily, I rarely get what I want but for the most part I don't know what I want most of the time anyway. lol. But the times I do I go for it. Now many of the times I do figure out what I want it is too late and I accept that. It is like fate has moved on while I was too busy not paying attention. It doesn't mean that I don't feel the disappointment and gut hurt but it is what is real and reality is where I live my whole life now. My feelings or hurts are very little in the scope of all life so I take the hit and move on. The future may change and for that I have some hope but hope and achievement are not constant companions. Now when I see and know what I want and there are no obvious unassailable obstacles I move forward on it despite what may come. I will not be that guy who has regrets over missed opportunities. My pride and vanity are no longer quotients in the equation. If anything I have learned that honor does reside in humility and the hat in my hand when I go where it is hard to go is my best chance to have that which draws me in. I know that despite the outcome I will have no remorse for not trying. Life is amazing and it is short in the big picture so letting things get procrastinated because they are hard or uncomfortable is unacceptable. The quantity of my life has to be filled quality and quality will only come about by me putting action to the thoughts and emotions that drive me. I will not be a bystander in my own life. What I have missed in the past through inattention may come around again but what opportunities that are here now with me will get all of me.
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