When I was 8 years old I began a series of lies that kept me out of trouble and gained me some advantages. It was so sweet how I was able to manipulate those around me simply by telling lies instead of the truth. I could shape any situation or circumstance to my favor simply by making up a story that had some truth to it but was mostly fabricated on the spot. I was so thrilled at my ability to weave in and around most anything in order to gain something. I was invincible for about 2 weeks. Because at that young age I had not yet understood the law of inevitability. Because I had told so many lies off the cuff so to speak that I had no way to remember nor make comprehensive any later answer about my actions. I could not foresee what my lies set into motion nor control their outcomes as they affected other people.
Thankfully my lies at that age were innocuous enough that no real harm or damage had been done except the few around me who were irritated by my lies and angry at me for telling the lies. I learned early on that lies have a life of their own not to be controlled after they are let loose into reality. I could not sustain them and then spent many days apologizing, eating crow and being shamed for how I tried to deceive. From those days on I find it difficult to lie regardless of the penalty. Now I have lied since then and lived with my guilt but the times I did were real moments of weakness that in hindsight were perfect examples of my own inability to have a structure to follow, instead of just relying on my own willpower. However, even though those few times are far behind me and although I had tripped a time or two since I was young, I have not forgotten the lesson I learned as a child.
The thing about lies is that since they are not truths, they tend to fade from my memory unlike truths. I can remember truths easily but lies are very hard to remember. So given that, no matter what the advantage gained through lying it is not worth the guilt nor the lowering of my self esteem. So in order to not be tempted by lying, I find that doing good and the right thing keeps me from the lying dynamic. So in order not to lie, I do good. It seems like I learned my lesson well and for the most part have done well to make truth telling a conscious and subconscious reality in my life.
Thankfully my lies at that age were innocuous enough that no real harm or damage had been done except the few around me who were irritated by my lies and angry at me for telling the lies. I learned early on that lies have a life of their own not to be controlled after they are let loose into reality. I could not sustain them and then spent many days apologizing, eating crow and being shamed for how I tried to deceive. From those days on I find it difficult to lie regardless of the penalty. Now I have lied since then and lived with my guilt but the times I did were real moments of weakness that in hindsight were perfect examples of my own inability to have a structure to follow, instead of just relying on my own willpower. However, even though those few times are far behind me and although I had tripped a time or two since I was young, I have not forgotten the lesson I learned as a child.
The thing about lies is that since they are not truths, they tend to fade from my memory unlike truths. I can remember truths easily but lies are very hard to remember. So given that, no matter what the advantage gained through lying it is not worth the guilt nor the lowering of my self esteem. So in order to not be tempted by lying, I find that doing good and the right thing keeps me from the lying dynamic. So in order not to lie, I do good. It seems like I learned my lesson well and for the most part have done well to make truth telling a conscious and subconscious reality in my life.
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