This is one subject that had a tremendous influence over me during my early years. I was not sure what my future was to be but I believed it was not meant to be tied down to any one particular thing. That was my greatest fear, that I would have to settle for a present and a future that I was not destined to have. How mystical I was. I can smile about it now but the decisions I made back then have in a large way defined how my life has lived to this point. Upon deeper examination, I find that by me allowing fear to guide my life I have missed out on the joy of initial discoveries and forming my responsibilities into the shape I would desire. My life has always been my life and despite my allowing obstacles to interfere with it, I was always the one who was going to define me. Thankfully, the fear that led me to avoid my early responsibilities only in the most important ways only affected me. Today, my actions are my actions to claim, there is no fear in allowing my life to follow whatever course it takes. I am still a mystical person, lol, but it is not because of some ill-thought sense of destiny or deserve, but because I am so awestruck by the absolute miracle that life is to me. I accept whatever happens as my responsibility today because fate has all of our numbers and when truth and honesty dominate, my reality is chosen and I don't have to fear whatever that manifests itself into being. The distortion of my early years serves as a lesson to me today, that whatever life brings to me I am willing and able to let it be true and accept the truth of it with the joy I feel in just being alive to experience it.
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