Thursday, April 29, 2010

What is it to be alive? (#454)

I have heard a particular sentiment throughout my life, namely that at the end of life the statement that "I wish I had done something with my life" has been made known. Often on the death bed. The most solemn moment in one's life is just before it is over. When all the thoughts of memories come flooding in. I don't need to wait until I am beyond some point where I know I can never "do anything". I have that urgency now within me. I, at 54 years, know that I am on the backside of life, here in existence, for me. Every day I am alive is in a conscious state of right now. Being here with myself in the present is important. I am not dreaming of some past event or creating some future scenario in my head as an escape from the present. I am here and present in the present. I can see the things going on around me in real time. I am current on the matters of the day. I am making myself a functioning human who can be responsible for things outside myself. This is all part of becoming a better human being, which is my greatest goal. Yes, being a better human being. I don't need superficial stimulants, I need the effects of doing right and good. They are my happiness, my esteem and my purpose. I am in a hurry to be alive and never again hide from life like I have done for most of this gift of life I have been given.

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