Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The discipline of truth (#858)

If you are going to speak it be prepared to live it. Seems simple but since I have such a short term memory at times it is a task of high difficulty. But like all things I put to logic, there is a solution for me. I change my thought pattern, what you say? Yes, when thoughts come into my head that are not positive or helpful, I dismiss them quickly. If I allowed temptation to linger in my mind I would eventually succumb to it/them. I know this through experience, my own. So by changing my thoughts through filtering them as they arrive, I allow myself the opportunity to change my behavior as well. This is my form of discipline. Practice over and over again until habit is formed. This helps offset my short term memory on some subjects. I was not born an intellectual by any stretch and I have not arrived at a higher plane of reasoning yet either. However, controlling the things that are my own reality is what I can do reasonably well. My reality is the truth of me and being aware of what that truth will be is my greatest occupation. I cannot abide anything less than an honesty about my life and the circumstances surrounding my life. I am not able to abdicate reasoning to others for the sake of my own whimsical ego. I have to be disciplined in the ever present thoughts and actions that guide me in existence. It is a somewhat complete reversal from how I used to think of my presence here in existence. I had the ego-maniacal pretension to assume I was special beyond all others despite all evidence to the contrary. Denial was my tool to help me maintain the illusion of my undeserving greatness. The hubris of youth exponentially mastered by an egoist. I have moved on from those headstrong youthful days to a reality that truly represents humility in the fact that I am fortunate to be in existence through no effort of my own. The truth of reality and constantly being in the present moment have liberated me to just exist and try to make a positive difference.

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