Making decisions (#873)

I have an internal process that is inconsistent at best. I know that I have to make a decision about something, but it isn't time to do that yet. So for a short while before it's time to decide I have these thoughts in my head about which choice I will make. It is curious that I do this since I know I haven't all the options yet, but do it I do. lol. For me there is a short period of anxiety or nervous excitement just before deciding that is tantalizing. Regardless of the nature of the decision it is still the same. In almost every situation though I do wait to decide right up until the last moment so that I can procrastinate and/or hope for a new factor in helping me decide. All of this is the after affect, and preceding the actual decision is a lot of research and analysis. I try to remain objective as much as possible, however I am human and decisions relative to me do have some subjective interests on my part. Also though is the knowledge that the decisions I make have not just an effect on me but on how I am perceived. Everything I do has a cause and effect as well as all of us do. Making even the simplest decisions tell a story about us that reflects our values and desires. I carry that knowledge of the importance of my decisions as a guide for how I do decide things. That I have a process that amuses me is a bit uncommon but I suppose it is my defense mechanism kicking in. We all must deal with decisions we make and standing up for them is our duty. Otherwise, the illusion of self-will or self-determination is all we are left with. The importance of knowing that is not to be discounted. Not only are we required as sovereign individuals to represent our own determinations but we have a duty to each other to do so. It is the magic of humanity and the equality of us sharing of who we are that is the worth we perceive to give.