Saturday, April 20, 2013

The pot boiler in my soul (#1541)


Again today I am reminded of how I operate. Inside me is a passion for understanding and conveying that understanding, notwithstanding confusion offered by others. I know what my intent is and that damn well is what I am offering. When I get called out on some ancillary concept that is not part of my intent I do try to recognize the validity of the call out. As is usually the case I am being attacked for something that is not part of my overall point but rather some other understanding of my point. I know it usually is an honest mistake and I reconcile that even I do the same to others on occasion, but what this has shown me this time with perfect clarity is where my fire burns the hottest. I was about as fired up this morning as I have been in awhile. If the term "spitting nails mad" makes sense to you then you can understand how I was feeling. As is the case with me as I have matured though, I quickly passed through that urge and instead allowed myself to experience the fire that emotion stirred within me. It was like I was stoking a raging fire separate from myself but throughout me, a conundrum for sure. I am satisfied now that the stirrings to rage within me have an outlet that does not manifest itself in ways that reflect physical outcomes, rather the stirrings focus me on the intent of my offerings and whether or not they are legitimate. My passion for expression has to have boundaries and I work very hard to keep myself within acceptable boundaries that reflect professionalism and trustworthiness. When I get called out for something outside those boundaries that are not valid to my intent, I do get to experience a "boiling pot" moment that is all mine to express. Pausing for a moment to allow my expression to have a dignified response is my goal and for that I am grateful to have evolved toward.

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