Why do I care? (#516)

About what? It does not matter what it is I still find that I care. There is something within me that craves to be a part of things that are worthy of completion. I am an idealist. I have to admit that. More than anything I know that I am mortal with only a short time in this existence left to experience. Somehow I have moved past the paralyzing fear of looming death to a place where death does not hold any significance. It will happen no matter what I try to do. Acceptance of this has brought about a desire to be as much in the flow of life as I can handle. I see now that what I do from now on is all that matters. I have lived the learning part of my life that helped me with perspective and the understanding of a purpose for me. Now I am putting all my effort into that purpose with the hope that I can leave behind me some ideas worthy of helping to make this world somewhat better for all life here. I have no wife or children of my own yet I feel an obligation, rightly so, to pass on to all, any hope and premise I can that will add to the knowledge of a chain of ancestors who have already done the same. I have always felt that a connection between all humans and other species of life exists on some level. Life is the gift and the form of the life does not detract from that. I care because it is right within my soul to care.

Change is instinctual (#515)

If I know one thing about myself it is that I am constantly in a state of change. I am not constantly changing who I am but slowly I am evolving into a better person than who I was before. I also have a will that is powerful and unrelenting when given a virtuous task. My eyes widen and my resolve is evident in the hardening of my determination. I am dissatisfied with the world we currently reside in and will with {every breath I take}, (one of my favorite Police songs, lol) attempt to change it for the better. I have no time for those who would stipulate that the project to improve or change our world is impossible. They are like millstones wrapped with rope, tied to and chafing my neck. My spirit is beyond my body and I wish for my body to catch up with my spirit. To do this I cannot waste time debating whether something cannot be done but rather exploring possibilities and complexities toward a solution. There is little time for all of us in existence to sit back and claim some high ground that wastes more time in the name of feeling superior or thinking that there is nothing more to learn. I am here now and my life will have meaning. I will not let the existing powers that be over-ride brilliance with mediocrity. I know that I am not alone in this and persevering is what I will do.

Respect or power (#514)

It is rare that both respect and power can come together in the form of one person. There are occasions where it does occur but not very often. What we constantly end up with is either one or the other. There are so many who see power as a greater reality than being respected. Power can always be justified, if we are willing to deny that having power over others is more beneficial to ourselves. For most people who seek power a great amount of selfishness is the motivation. Quite often power is the link to greater wealth or control over other types of desires. Respect is less a prospect because it requires one to be less selfish and more selfless. I rather enjoy the paradigm of respect because it implies that I have done something for others that they feel grateful to me for doing. In making others happy, I find a reward within my soul that is greater than any reward that has a material component. I have lived long enough to know that my peace of mind and my moral, legal and ethical sense weigh more heavily in my personal scale of justice. It is as if I am preparing myself to be right for when my end in this existence comes so that my mind will be clear and ready to accept whatever may be next. I have my own value system for the possible endless circle of eternity. My life here on Earth is to be the best I can live and think while I am here. Whatever happens next whether something or nothing will not change how I like to feel while I am here.

Hope is my saving grace (#513)

I have not written about hope for quite awhile considering how important it is to my life. I guess I try to keep my personal feelings and personal hopes to myself. I can say however that without hope in my life I would probably not have a life right now. I would have given into the fatalism of giving up and ruination to the ultimate extreme. Now let me make this point very clear, whether my hope(s) ever come to fruition is not the point. The hope or chance or possibility of my hope(s) becoming real is the point. It is amazing that I have found peace in this concept. I know what I feel and have within me yet I only need the possibility of it happening for me to stay positive and move forward in my life with purpose. A peace has settled over me in that I know that the control of things beyond me are not up to me. The whirligig of time and space will have it's say in what happens in my life. What I need to do is recognize what I hope for in my life and be ready if it comes my way. Of course I live in a way that will help the cause of my hope(s) to become reality, but never with assumptions that they will or expectations that they must. I am at the bequest of fate and destiny with all my heart. How the Universe places what I have inside me toward what everyone else has inside them will be a mystery to me. It is not just what I have for hope(s) but what everyone else hopes for as well. May we all enjoy the dream of having our wishes come true.

Rethink our values (#512)

Fear of change is a crippling position to be afflicted with. When I have found a place that I feel comfortable with and wish to maintain, I am actually being selfish. Being selfish in some respects is okay but when it has an adverse effect on others then it is not okay. Life is all about change. There is nothing that stays static. We may wish for the status-quo to remain but that is an illusionary wish with no hope of happening. Our models for society are in constant need of upgrading and holding to the older models as ideals when intelligence and technology have moved beyond them is just wrong. For whatever reason, fear or ulterior motive, the older models must adjust with the constantly changing nature of life. We learn that to live together in society we must have a structure that occupies us in constructive ways. Otherwise chaos and the baser instincts of humanity will dominate. By adjusting our concept based around the value of life we may find different and unique ways to make the living experience fruitful and full of discovery. No structure for living is greater than one single life. When we are able to recognize this and develop along that line our society will reflect what it is to be human with dignity and respect. Do not fear change, it is natural and right when the change reflects the better and best of what humanity is all about.

The patience of faith (#511)

It is one thing to say I have faith about something it is another thing to actually practice that faith. Practicing faith is what I am experiencing. To hold to something and hope for it's eventual fruition is work requiring patience. I have never given much thought to how to have faith, I just supposed that it would happen or not within some short time frame. Well, I have since learned that having faith for something to happen may take my entire life to happen. It is in patience that I find the reward and satisfaction of giving my faith a form. I am not a person who can command his emotions to be what they should properly be at all times. Through patience, I have found a way to gather my emotions under a general control that reminds me to stay focused on what I can do and not on what I want to happen. Being patient is a work in progress for me but I am remembering to practice it even as an involuntary action. What an amazing gift patience is. For me to be patient without even thinking about it is an amazing growth story about me. It could be that maturity is finally settling in into my life, I don't know. What I do know is that patience allows me to have long-lasting faith where before my faith was shallow. My life has a sense of completeness to it now and as I continue to work on the best things that life has to offer and make myself available to them, then regrets will be few indeed.

Listening as an art (#510)

My ears are on my head for a reason. So that when I hear something it can get directly to my brain in practically no time flat. The problem I have sometimes is that my brain begins to interpret what I am hearing before what I am hearing is finished being heard by me. I find I am anxious, at times, to interject before the telling is finished. Is it a strategic action on my part to save time? That's ridiculous. To show how intelligent and worldly I am? Probably. Insecurity in the first degree. I have noticed this trait within me a few times and I have taken to correct it by forcing myself to stay patient. I listen until the train of thought has been delivered then I attempt to interject. Even then I find that more is yet to come and I must continue to listen and understand. Listening is not new to me but listening equally to all things being spoken to me is. I have gotten much better at it since I have become aware of this old trait of mine. It is so important to be able to complete a thought and I need to respect the giver of the thought as I would like to be respected as a giver of my thought. Like I try to build in my life, wisdom to know what I am doing and what is going on around me. Listening is so valuable as a tool to understanding those around me. I have very little to offer at times but what I can always do is listen and be good at it.

What is a belief system? (#509)

Anytime I or anyone else says "I believe..." a belief system is being advanced. Generally, most common among belief systems are faith based understandings. Why is a belief system needed at all? For me there are times when emotionally I am despondent or troubled and having a sense that I am not in control of everything and something or someone else is, is what I need. It is during the calm, rationally healthy times that I think about what a belief system means to me. If logic were our only guide, I cannot fail to see how something has to be in a greater control than just serendipity or chaos. As logic takes me backward, I am left with the knowledge that something cannot come from nothing. It would break the laws of physics for it to happen. I know that the laws of physics as we know them today very well could change and become more viable to a conclusion that something can come from nothing. At this point, in human evolution, that what is known by the general population is not there yet. It is more comforting to think of a belief system as having an idea about what we are suppose to be. A security blanket for us. I totally understand the concept and welcome it's purpose. What I don't condone is a belief system offered up as a fact where there is no room for dispute. Denial can take many forms and holding any BELIEF system up as the absolute answer to humanity and our future is ludicrous and egoistical by those who proclaim it so. The purpose of a belief system is to offer a comforting hope to those who need it on an individual basis. Not as a demand that everyone must accept.

What should I desire? (#508)

Everything? Well, maybe not everything but I do want what I want when I want it. lol. This has always been tricky for me to answer. The selfish part of me is always clamoring for bigger and more for me. The unselfish part of me is always clamoring for bigger and more for everyone else. The balance for what I should desire is somewhere in between. I need for myself a sense of fulfillment, a fulfillment when it comes to love, joy and happiness. Whether I attain these in a constant state in my life remains a mystery. These are emotional needs for me personally, but I also wish them for everyone else as well. It is no fun being in a world where I would be the only one having a blissful life. I also desire health, welfare and opportunity for everyone including myself. Life can be grand if we decide to serve each other the way we would like to be served. We have always had the answer to how we can live life in the best way, it is we have not been able to implement a process for doing that. Obstacles are out there in the form of greed and the illusion of power. I am not sure we will ever be able to construct a new society when we are so caught up in the illusion of what is a priority in our life. Each of our little worlds of existence must align so that the bigger world of existence can begin to form as a reality. It is all in our heads, and that is where we can find our way around and through any obstacle. Serving each other the way we would like to be served is our foundation. Everything must flow from that genesis.

What do I mean when I say compassion? (#507)

When I talk about compassion I am talking about every good emotion we have. All of them are considered by me as being under the heading of compassion: Love, desire, affection, ecstasy, euphoria, gratitude, happiness, joy, hope and wonder, to name most. I may be wrong but it seems that compassion is part of all these positive emotions. Regardless, it is how I interpret what I am talking about. I also use the term care to describe the positive emotions within us. I may seem idealistic also but again it is my interpretations I am talking about. I choose, did you catch that? I choose to see the world through the lens of what it could be knowing full well that it is hopeful at best right now. I have no illusions about what is going on in the world but I do not delude myself into thinking it can never change. I have the force of will within me to change it by myself. I cannot do it by myself although I feel the power to want to try. I just will not accept the status quo as all that can be done. It is not in my nature and is not within any one else's either. We just need to all get on the same page. Is it going to take something cataclysmic for us to work with each other for all of our benefit? Again I think we can bypass the cataclysmic and use rationality with logic and get there also. I keep working for our curiosity and compassion to eventually manifest itself completely for all of us.

Customs and traditions (#506)

What is it about ourselves that that helps us to define who we are? It is our recorded history. Our ancestors have come and gone but not without leaving a legacy. To honor what they have done in some respects we have practiced imitation and celebration in the form of custom and tradition. When we flatter the past through tribute we are celebrating what is honorable within us. It should stoke our ambitions and resolve within us to maintain and surpass what has been to a better what will be. Humanity is imperfect and the living of humanity can use all the help it can get. Through our customs and traditions we are able to maintain the daily foundation which to start from in our hopes of creating a better society. Customs and traditions are flexible as well in order to keep up with an ever-increasingly intelligent population. As our particular nationalities grow toward commonalities with each other our customs and traditions intersect and combine to hold significantly more value to increasing numbers of individuals. Customs and traditions are guideposts for us to evaluate where we are in our journey of life. They are established to commemorate and distinguish what is important about how we live. Customs and traditions give us hope that despite our own individual struggles we as a humanity on whole have value and are worthy to continue to find what is good and right about ourselves.

It is not what we say it is what we do (#505)

The conversations are endless about what we should do. I have never heard so much advice in my life more abundant concerning what I should do. It is curious that the time spent telling people how to live takes away from those same people the actual living of their lives. Proof of the pudding is in the eating. Same goes for living, proof of the life is in the living. We are all given one assignment we are each responsible for, that being living our own lives to the best of our ability. We must never allow others to guide our lives without knowing where we are going. Even then any abdication of our will to others is a violation of our individual freedom. Consider whether anyone is more worthy to live your own life than you. Each person must stay on top of their own life and not interject themselves into anyone else's life. I have often been asked to give my opinion on subjects in general and occasionally in personal situations. I will always answer these requests with objectivity. I see my response back must give the ask-er all the information I have so they may continue to evaluate what their decision will be. I am just a bank of information when I can be and nothing more. The best thing I can do for anyone is to live my life in the open and let the living of my life be an example for others to see. Nothing speaks louder than words except action.

Is there a higher power out there (#504)

How is it that existence exists. All things must have come from some beginning. We know this because of the concept of time. It is also manifest in our experiences in existence with beginnings and ends. My next question then if I assume there is a higher power is how did the higher power come into existence. My question is really irrelevant however since beginnings seem to come from ends. The questions can then be understood to cycle to infinity. But even infinity must have had a beginning. Existence is a marvelous paradigm. It's genesis is unknown and mysterious. However, I am still convinced a logic exists to satisfy my curious mind. Whether the logic is ever conceptualized is neither here nor there. What is important is that I question all in order to discover what I can. My own personal experience tells me that there is something greater than myself that has been with me. Some unseen force of immeasurable control that has guided me to everywhere I have chosen to go. Whether good or bad, I have not felt left behind. I am in control of my choices for the most part. I get to move about somewhat without restriction and resistance. But the beauty and majesty of what existence offers with a Universe yet undiscovered all around me leaves me in awe about my presence here in life. Not of my doing but of some doing nonetheless.

A milestone of sorts and responsibility (#503)

This blog posting today marks the 500th consecutive day out of 503 days I have posted a subject. It has been a privilege to do this. I do not always make it easy on myself to write on a topic but somehow I find a way to put something down that has some interest to me and hopefully to anyone who may read it as well. Today I want to talk about responsibility. Don't go away! Responsibility is a really good thing. It is something we have all desired at one point in our lives. To make a difference about anything is an achievement. To be responsible about making a difference is even more rewarding. Responsibility should be enjoyable and sought after. It reminds us what can be important to us. I know that I sometimes say to myself "if only they would have done it my way". Well, when I have responsibility for something then I have that opportunity to do it my way. Being responsible gives me the chance to show what is important to me. It allows me to reflect back out to anyone what I am made of. Of what makes me tick. Of what I hold as good and right in my life. The way responsibility can be expressed by me is the showcase of my life and what impact I want to have on the world. To become responsible is an honor and to be recognized by others as responsible is even more of a gift. It marks the days of my life with a sense of real accomplishment.

Curiosity must be fed (#502)

Besides my emotional needs, there are just questions and answers. All of my life is centered around asking questions and searching for answers. It is imperative that for every question that is asked an as complete answer be given. It is difficult to know how much better all of our lives would or could be if all of our questions where given serious and proper answers. I feel as if I could have been so much more of a person who would contribute to society if I was able to receive correct information at the time I asked for it. I understand deeply how important it is to give the most knowledge I have when it is requested. There are some personal things that I only share with others after I am confident they will respect my privacy, outside of that I try to be as forthcoming in a complete way as is possible. I, personally strive to be as enlightened as possible so that I may in some small way be a positive influence when I can. The difference some imparted information has may seem insignificant at the time however it may grow into some profound moment for all of us at some later date. Every moment of every one's life is an opportunity to advance knowledge. Any opportunity missed to advance knowledge is unfortunate in that existence is shaped by our presence. We can have a tremendous influence on what existence will be and what we do now will ultimately define who we are.

My time has come (#501)

I have been blessed with the knowledge that there are those out there who see me as someone to be looked up upon. It appears that I am worthy of making a good impression upon some. How I got to this point is secure in my mind. I want to and I am trying to become a better human being. I am also patient and consistent in my actions and thoughts. That is all I have to do to reach for a better existence for myself and for others. I am humbled that others have noticed and asked me for guidance in their lives. I am privileged and respectful of this responsibility. As I help others see what can be possible for them, I also sharpen my view as to what I can continue to do to see what is even more possible for myself. I am the key to what others see. I need to never give up in my quest to be the best man I can be. This is such an enormous opportunity for me to have an input into how others may begin to see themselves. I need to become a positive fortress to them so that in time they may become a positive fortress to others themselves. I am ready to do this for others now, I know this. If this opportunity had come to me earlier I would not have been ready for it. It is as if the timing of the Universe is in harmony with my soul. What a glorious time it is.

Courage and finding it (#500)

What is courage? As an analogy it is the line in the sand that will not be crossed. It is a determined action or thought in practice. It is the willingness to sacrifice at any cost that which I would hold dear in order to protect the best principles of humanity. I like courage because it gives me an opportunity to reflect what principles really matter to me. I am able to summon up all my energy at one moment and declare my intent. I am a human who will be heard. I will not stand by and let the lesser of human interests claim victory over the greater of human nature. I have too much respect for the ideals of human value to not take my place in the chain of life that has already stood to defend the right and good of life. Some may say that courage is the lack of fear, but I would say that courage is able to manifest itself out of fear. Fear, more times than not, is the catalyst that drives courage to great achievement. All humans possess the ability to be courageous at one point or another. The important thing is to find courage within ourselves, at the moment it is needed, when we are challenged to display it. I have found that being honest as much as is humanly possible helps to set the atmosphere for courage to be easily summoned up within me. When I am living the best human principles I am feeling the humility of strength of conviction. In humility my courage is pure and stalwart. p.s. This is my 500th blog posting.

Plumbing the depths of my honesty (#499)

How deep will I go to let the honest in my life come out. There are several layers of honesty I choose from depending on the circumstance and whom I am speaking. With some people I can say anything about what is going on in my life because they have shown and proven that they respect my privacy. With others there is some bit of unknown and therefore I am hesitant to share some personal truths. I am only speaking of personal truths and not anything other than that. I have the highest regard for the truth and it being available to everyone. Some people do not wish to hear some truths due to long held opinions they have. I know not to push these situations and move on to other conversations. I know personally, that there is nothing I will not listen to with an open mind. If some conversations are badly argued or are devoid of objectivity, I will move away from them and find something else to do without trying to offend anyone. There are times however when I will interject a response directed at the conversant about how the opinion expressed is lacking in validity. I usually, as a rule, will however leave the person to their opinion and politely excuse myself. I am not the arbiter of truth however I am a student of humility and anything that is not based on humility is most likely not worth learning.

Hide the ball (#498)

This is a term used in law classes when professors would only give out slim clues as answers. In essence they were hiding the ball in hopes that the law students would figure it out by themselves. This is barely okay in a setting like that but to hide the ball as a way to keep people ill-informed is dastardly and cowardly. Why some people feel a need to lord over others in an unfair and delusional way is troubling. Insecurity by one party is no excuse to thwart natural growth in another party. Knowledge is an accumulation of ideas and process' belonging to all of us. No one should deny or dilute it's understanding. I often rationalize that curiosity is one of a twin fork of human traits, along with compassion, instinctual to all of us. If we are not allowed to be curious and learn from knowledge we are only damaging the human race for whatever purpose. It would seem insignificant any variation of purpose valid to deny positive human nature. Selfishness and power are the two ingratiating purposes that come to mind, however there are myriad others. What exists in our minds outside a common respect for each other is indicative of the lack of discipline we allow our thought processes to entertain. Principles of virtue should be our bedrock of thought and courage should be reflective of our actions. All of us have the better and best within us, we do not need to wait for some signal to snap us to know this. Our knowledge tells us what we can do and giving our knowledge is how we get there.

Love and it's little mysteries (#497)

Love is a different dimension for me. I can just be cruising along in life and then wham! I am all of a sudden struck with an emotion of weak-kneed, heart pounding and gut fluttering sensations when I gaze or think upon someone who has absolutely rocked my world. Funny thing about this for me, the woman may not even be aware she has done this to me. Such is my experience. There must be some kind of connection that comes into existence when these revealing sensations occur. Pheromones, maybe, psychic connection, who knows but it is something that feels like destiny and has soulmate written all over it. Unfortunately this is only a one-way street unless the object of my attention also has the same type of experience. For some reason I have, probably because I am a great romantic, never wanted any other kind of love in my life than the greatest true love that ever existed. lol. My optimism surely is overly employed by me, however I am what I am. My personal happiness will either be ultimately realized or I will suffer the pangs of a life with no one to intimately share with. Such is my direction. I will never understand why I am this way and not more logical about mating and companionship. It would seem far more rational to find someone who is practical and full of commonalities with me. I guess I am just not smart enough to be practical and my outcome will either be a miracle or I will live my life without that cherished paradigm of marriage.

Obsessive behavior (#496)

Obsessive behaviour is a general term I use to describe my willingness to write this blog post everyday until I am not able. I do not mean to imply that I have a clinical disorder, I mean to imply that I am motivated to a process of continuity, simply for the creation and pleasure of a writing habit. In that sense I could have defined myself as being driven to accomplish a goal. I could have but I didn't because I am obsessed with the idea of creating order within my life and doing a daily blog post is helping me to realize that I can be consistent in how I live my life. It is my evidence that I do try to make myself into a better human being. It is not always easy to have a different subject matter ready to discuss after so many days but somehow, intuitively, something of significance usually finds it's way onto my page. The genesis of my blog was to start establishing a pattern of writing in order to eventually write a novel or book of something worthy of being published. It is still the impetus behind my daily blog. However the blog has become an old friend and giving it up is not ever anything I consider. I still do plan to write a manuscript eventually about something and the obsessive nature I display toward my blog will help me in not only spending time to write, but in how I type and in my better command of relaying sentences that read easily and understandably. The evidence of this is the comprehensive growth in my blog that has taken place since it first began.

Enjoying the calm (#495)

It was weird being in a state of calm. I was unfamiliar with this as I had previously always found a way to create some action due to my inability to be calm. Being calm had the significance of wasting valuable time. I do not think like that anymore. I find that it is not wasteful to be calm but rather it is restful. I do not look at calm having some connection to death. That was what was at the core of my earlier problem with calm, that I would be sacrificing some action and lose out on doing something before I died. I see this all clearly now and can justify to myself the new insight I have toward calm. I do not need to be a part of every activity possible. I can sit back and just watch life happen without having to be a part of it. It is refreshing to me that I can enjoy my own company without feeling anxiety over some imagined loss. I keep reminding myself constantly that I am a guest in this existence, nothing more than surviving is required from me. I have my own expectations for how I live but they are not contingent upon expectations of others rather they are contingent upon the best principles humanity can show. It is not the quantity of living I do, it is the quality of living I do. I can keep the smile on my face. That is a very high priority for me. Not just any kind of smile but a genuine smile that reflects what I feel inside me. Being in the calm is something I get to do today. What a treat.

Assumptions and expectations (#494)

I am getting better at not letting myself wallow in the misery that associates itself with assumption and expectation. The concept I have of not trying to predict or manipulate has begun to serve me well. I do not deserve anything. If something comes my way and it is appropriate for me to have it then I am well blessed by what fate has brought me. I am just in the stream of life doing the best I can with what I have. I am not under the spell of an illusion that leaves all things up to the unknown. I know that I have to work at and put action to the principles in my life that allow me to better become the man I want to become. I do not know what that future looks like but I don't need to know either. I just need to focus on what is directly in front of me. I need to stand up and defend what is right and good for all not just for me. By living this way I am giving existence the chance to use me to it's fullest and allows me to feel the purpose I have with full emotion and understanding. The key in life is to find what justifies our own individual experiences and putting them into action. It is a deeply defined struggle to know ourselves but once begun on the pathway it is the greatest of rewards. An inner peace and strength through being in harmony with life. I am blessed through the happenstance of discovery. Discovering what it is to be me.

Why do I question? (#493)

Nothing is certain except death and yet can death be overcome? We are in the infancy of our maturity as the human species, not all answers are available to us yet. But to find answers we must ask questions. This generation that is alive today is the furthest most intellectual product produced so far. we have the ability to advance our species even further by allowing discussion of what could be and investigating those possibilities. I maintain that our nature is to be curious and compassionate. When we deny these traits we become less of what we are and more chaotic. Following this logic then we need to advance our education for all and research and develop as if that is our only cause. The gathering of information will assist us in our search into the unknown. It is okay to search into the unknown, do not let fear of what we don't know hamper our instinct to know. Remember, questioning is the basis of our will to survive, without curiosity we would not fight to live. Why would we care? Some would argue that curiosity is not required for the will to survive, but what then would the will to survive base it's existence on? It is possible that the existence we inhabit has been distorted so much that we have adapted through necessity a curious nature in order to survive, but that logic has little support in that how could this existence have reformed? My theory of curiosity and compassion as the two fundamental instincts needed for humanity to have it's completeness is still viable to me.

Economics and basic human needs (#492)

The dilemma. Free market system with governmental regulation is what we have now. Yet poverty and the lack of equal opportunity are still with us. We have not divined or reasoned out the best economic system for humanity so far. There seems to be a disconnect between the value of our right to exist within a society that was established for the sake of security and the means we employ to maintain society and enhance life individually. Simply, if that is possible, We want safety but not equality. I say this all the time, life is really short and not advancing principles of equality, justice, honesty and a code of ethics and morality, as a priority for all of us by all of us is what is causing us to allow suffering within our control to stop. The free market is a good foundation for motivating and sustaining the ability to care for ourselves. It also gives us hope to build a life we would like to have, however the recompense for our labors is out of scale and differentiates us apart from each other. All of life is equal, the current system allowed for recompense is not equal. It should not be equal yet it should not be so out of balance in it's current scale. We are all in existence together and to admire a system that rewards few far above the just measure it should makes our society less egalitarian and more plutocrian. The real value of life is in the individual. We should rework how we honor this tremendous creation.

Character tempered through the forge of suffering (#491)

I recently read the title I am using from a sentence in a book called "Triumph of the Sun"-Wilbur Smith. It stuck in my mind so I wrote it down for a topic on this blog. It is so appropriate for me that I found this concept. I seem to learn the best when I do have to suffer. This is unfortunate because I know better yet I still attempt to change the outcome. It is as if it isn't real to me unless I actually do the thoughts or actions myself. The reward is that if I survive my suffering I end up in a better place than when I started. I know that I am not unique in this wasteful process of practicing denial but I hope that I can move beyond learning through suffering. I also know that as I continue in life my participation in learning through suffering is getting less frequent, so there is hope for me. I now have the perspective of hindsight and the insight of logic to help me beyond trial and error. My character will grow whether I suffer or not if I am willing to learn. The bottom line is for my character to improve not to add suffering to mine or anyone else's life. The wisdom necessary to distinguish the process I use to learn is also part of the growth in character that I am always searching for. I am getting older and hopefully wiser about my actions as they relate to learning. I need to stop and question my motives when I find myself in situations that do not feel right or correct. It is up to me if I want to learn through logic and intuition instead of selfishness and stubborn pride.

Why do we want so much when others have so little? (#490)

I know why I do. It is because I did not think about whether others had anything at all. I only thought of myself. It seemed to me at the time that everyone should have to strive for their own in this world. It was how things were and who am I to change anything? I used to think I was special because I had physical gifts that stood out from others. This was my destiny to have more than others because some force in the Universe had deemed me more worthy in my mind. I now know that this type of thinking is egotistical and narcissistic. I have become aware that we all deserve more. How is that possible for all of us to have plenty? There are only so many resources and availabilities. When I was wanting more I was inside myself trying to please my personal desires. This has not worked out well for me since I have tendencies that overindulge to the point of self-destruction. I have learned from my obsessive behaviour and have been given an insight into how life should be lived. Today I find satisfaction in enjoying whatever is in front of me and not letting myself future trip about things that only could happen. Everything in existence is unique and worthy of being noticed by me in my humble life. I am not anything special, except that I now understand that living with all that is around me in a mode of enjoyment is more precious than anything else.

Why I judge me (#489)

If I am ever going to be the man I want to be then I need to be honest with myself. I need to judge myself with the principles I hold dear. I do not get a pass on things because I know I can hide or deny them. I have to be my own conscious about what I am doing. I do not need someone else to judge me when I have every truth before me. No one knows me like I know myself. I am the best judge of me outside my higher power. Am I willing to let myself slide when I do not let others slide. It would be easy to let myself slide but it would not allow me to be responsible for the choices I make. I have to make better choices if I am to become the man I want to be. I value the principles in my life. They mean everything to me and instead of just being idealisms I want them to constantly be realisms that reflect my actions. What I have learned is that fear is the reason I do most everything against my wishes. I must learn to express my actions when fear comes upon me in a way that brings opportunity not cowardice. I have to stand for the things that matter to me. I cannot talk about living principles that are right and good but I must react with principles in my life that are right and good. I judge myself to keep an eye on myself and to tell on myself when needed.

What is my mind? (#488)

I often catch myself saying that "when I make up my mind..." and only now am I pausing to wonder what actually is my mind? It is where my thoughts are. It is where I generate toward most of my actions. But other than these things I am still curious about what my mind is. It is mine for sure. I know this because of the decisions I have made and the consequences that followed were directly related to my decisions. I am the impetus to the working of my mind. It would follow logically that I must be in control of the mind within me. If that is the case then again the next logical assumption would be that I have control over my mind. If I have control over my mind then I can direst my thinking in particular ways that I choose. Whether I choose to exert control over my mind then is directly proportional to what I consider a priority. If I choose not to direct my thinking in any particular way then I am either carefree in my mind's application toward myself or I choose not to care. In essence I have been given an awesome responsibility, namely that of commander of my mind. I have lived many years and in that time I have evolved my mind into a reflection of what I want to be. How precious is that for me? It is the most precious gift I have within me. That is how precious. I can move my mind toward areas of thought that I find of value. I can use the vast wealth of knowledge my mind has accumulated over the years in many fine ways. It is my mind to direct and I will continue to commander it with all myself.

I keep looking around me (#487)

What I see is is encouraging and disheartening. Encouraging that there are people who want to have better lives and are doing something about it. Disheartening because there are few opportunities for them to choose from. The daily struggle to survive and make something positive of our lives is getting harder with each passing day. However, there is still a steely-willed determination to push forward toward a better day. We need our society to provide incentive to make society work. Work is good in that it gives us a common purpose and a sense of security. What it does not give us is opportunities to make our lives better with any consistency at all. The archaic system that would put our lives in jeopardy for the sake of remaining static is unacceptable. We must continue to mature as a society and show the maturity in how we make opportunities happen for all of us. The genesis of existence is our individual life. We are born today into an intelligence gathered and matured by those who preceded us. They pushed along a system for living in the only way they were able, by just maintaining what structure they had. We are blessed with greater possibilities and pushing what we have been given is not enough. We must grow what we have been given into something greater and closer to appreciating the sanctity of every life. Life is more than enjoyment, it is also about being responsible to each other in the present but to also build a better life in the future for our offspring.