I know why I do. It is because I did not think about whether others had anything at all. I only thought of myself. It seemed to me at the time that everyone should have to strive for their own in this world. It was how things were and who am I to change anything? I used to think I was special because I had physical gifts that stood out from others. This was my destiny to have more than others because some force in the Universe had deemed me more worthy in my mind. I now know that this type of thinking is egotistical and narcissistic. I have become aware that we all deserve more. How is that possible for all of us to have plenty? There are only so many resources and availabilities. When I was wanting more I was inside myself trying to please my personal desires. This has not worked out well for me since I have tendencies that overindulge to the point of self-destruction. I have learned from my obsessive behaviour and have been given an insight into how life should be lived. Today I find satisfaction in enjoying whatever is in front of me and not letting myself future trip about things that only could happen. Everything in existence is unique and worthy of being noticed by me in my humble life. I am not anything special, except that I now understand that living with all that is around me in a mode of enjoyment is more precious than anything else.
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