I know with me, I am one thing in my head and another thing in my actions. Not always but enough of the time for me to notice. My understanding is that I am not as well coordinated between what I want to be and what I actually am being. This is eye-opening to me. For the most part I have known of this disconnect but I assumed that I would grow into maturity and my actions would come from my reasoned thought. Not true. What I now know is that I must consciously remain aware of my thoughts before I act. It is not easy and often leaves me with a headache. That is a small price to pay however considering the benefit. More-so I think that the headaches that come with keeping my mind focused is the result of my mind having to rewire it's previous slacking mode. It is like exercising a muscle to gain greater efficiency. That is my thought on that. By forcing my mind to focus in a more consistent moment by moment manner, I am starting to see the result. I am less likely to give into involuntary responses without consideration of the responses effect. This is huge if it was the only benefit. I am also able to formulate analyzed and reasoned responses appropriate to the current circumstance. It is logical that if I work toward betterment that betterment would be evident. Staying focused on the now and allowing my good nature to reveal itself allows me to be who I think I am. At the very least I am working toward that.
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