Being (#807)

I am present today and I know who I am. You may say, well you have always been present, what do you mean? I mean that I am aware of all my thoughts and actions. I am not daydreaming through the days of my life anymore. I care about every moment I have instead of whiling them away on irrelevancies. It is easy today for me to have tolerance and patience with those who have not "arrived" like I have because I was guilty of their same mindsets. What I can do though is focus on me and make sure that the past episodes of nullified care I presented have no more place in my life. I am being here, right now, in the present. Not the past or the future but the present. It is hard work! lol. I may understand more now about why I chose to be less present in the past because of the diligence and purpose being in the present required of me. I have some remorse for my lack of attention to reality as I should have but I am where I am and that is a wonderful thing going further into my present. The more I keep myself facing what is directly ahead of me the better my past starts to look. What you say? Well every new moment I add to my past actually improves my past. Adding to the betterment of my past is just a side benefit and not the principle reason. Making my present better is. I understand now the ethic involved in wanting to improve on who I am. I know who I am and I am not subjective about it. I see, through objectivity, my shortcomings and continued behavioural defaults. But as time goes on and through vigilance I am able to adjust my shortcomings to make better outcomes and recognize my character defaults in order to begin changes to my behaviour. You see the "being" I want to be is a work in progress toward the honorable principled ideals I have always known were meant for me and the time for rebellion against them is over.