For me, the ability to grasp comprehensive concepts begins with a clear mind. A mind that is not influenced through the acceptable numbing agents currently in vogue. I start each day from the same point I ended the previous day. In other words my life is on a consistent conscious continuum with only sleep breaking it into intervals. In the past, when I was more cavalier about how I treated my mental state, I would often have to recapture, over many days of time, the point at which I left my comprehensive stream of consciousness in order to, for a short time, escape reality. Now all I want to do is embrace reality. I have learned that reality is something I have more control over than I had previously thought. A maturation process that was unique to me took place and I have come to realize that anything that disrupts my normal stream of consciousness is a negative, not a break. While I was allowing things to get out of control with an eager anticipation to numb my senses, the effect was that I was dumbing down my natural abilities to avoid taking responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. While I told myself that fitting into the crowd and acting more the carefree life traveler, I knew deep down inside me that I had quit on myself and was just marking time until something or whatever came along. By clouding my mind with acceptable forms of confusion, I was abdicating my unique self to the whims of the world without being involved in how those whims played out. Somehow I survived my inconsistencies of mental control and have reclaimed my right to have control over the process of my thoughts.
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