A lot of our actions are not seen by anyone but ourselves. But those that are seen by others are the benchmark of where we begin to hope we are being who we want to be. Now the real test comes when no one else is looking at us and we act with that knowledge. Are our actions at the same level as seen actions? I know mine aren't and that is what I battle most of the time in my life, staying consistent when it doesn't matter. Now I am no duplicitous person but I do expect a lot of myself and unfortunately I don't work as hard as I should when the focus of others is not on me. Again though I am cognizant of it and what I try to tell myself is that although no one can see me at all times the Universe of my existence can. I am a record of my life and in that I want the record to reflect that I wasn't just for show and of little substance. I act in a way that I recognize a omnipresent sovereign that keeps an eye on me even when it is impossible for humans to do so. It works for me as a gatekeeper to my slacker self that often wants to just sit back and enjoy the ride of life without carrying any of the load that keeps life interesting. My conscious is also a guide to my behavior as I battle against the tug of war between my enlightened reason and the baser instincts of my nature. None of us will ever be perfect but none of us needs to be without hope to be the best of who we are. When I am the best person I can be at all times I am the happiest and most grateful soul I can be. The trade off between being a selfish do as I please individual and being an insightful ever perfecting human is well worth the paradigm. As I continue to fight my way toward being a better me I know that my life is better and I can take some satisfaction in that.
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