Living in the truth (#2132)

I have tried that lying paradigm. It didn't work out too well for me. Like the Republicans of today, lying when faced with an uncomfortable truth is their modus operandi. I know this so well since I tried to lie my way out of every situation that did not benefit me somehow. The problem I had and what Republicans have now is that I lost all bearing on the comprehensiveness of things. I couldn't remember the sequence of my lies so that I could properly defend them. Instead, I was exposed as a liar and thus was shunned or punished for being a bad person. I was humiliated after a bit and decided that lying was never going to be a strategy that made me feel good. I remember it so well, like it was yesterday. The thrill of fooling people to get things from them or others was addictive. I was never my true self during that stint of time because I didn't know who I was. I was as artificial a human being as one could be. Eventually though my lies were so numerous that I couldn't keep track of which ones I told to whom. The best part of all of that was that when I finally said enough of this lying I was able to just stop and go about the business of admitting I lied whenever I came across one of the lies I told. It was very humiliating but it was therapeutic to cleanse my mind of the foul stench in my soul that I had created. Once I realized that being honest and truthful about how I live and think is the best strategy for life, I needed to change my life. For one thing if I was going to live in the truth I needed had to find some honorable principles to help guide my actions. I could not continue to dishonor myself by living in deceptive behavior regardless of how honest I was about it. I don't know why I strayed from being a good decent honest person. Maybe I was afraid to be an example of how to do things right. Maybe I had an addictive personality back then that needed to be exposed, examined and rehabilitated. Regardless of why, I am here now a much better person for having survived my own frailty.