Like a cloud or a piece of driftwood, the first part of my life was dream like and although I was adding to my knowledge base reasonably well I had no real tether to anything specific. Instead I kind of floated through life like a cloud and drifted like the driftwood through the stream of life. There are many reasons for this path I took but mainly it was the realization that the best of what I thought possible never seemed to be able to happen. Like all the pieces of the puzzle, although there, couldn't find their way to the whole picture being completed. I was demoralized by the lesser always being chosen when the better was there for us. So there I went, drifting through time and space in no particular hurry to get anywhere again.
Then I decided that floating and drifting were not enough for me. There was too much inside me that had to get out and the only way it could was for me to become even more informed. I planted myself like a tree and began the earnest in depth study of my inner passionate drive. Filling my memory with knowledge both new and objective. Combined with what I had already learned I began to feel the presence of myself in a more profound way. I could make conversation on the subject of my study and argue and debate a more complete response to the truthful facts of reality. I began the process of knowing what I was talking about.
Knowing what I was talking about is different than just talking from someone else's point of view. I wasn't a carrier of others' imaginations and creativity, I was my own source of reason, analyzing and concluding. When I had the basic facts of my passion as a foundation, there was nothing that my mind couldn't separate out from the noise of obstruction or confusion. I was a source of information, not just a messenger of it. This is where my humble wisdom comes from, knowing of what I am talking or debating about. I am not perfect nor the wisest around yet it is what I strive for when it comes to being able to understand that which matters the most to me. Metaphorically I am now a tree, with roots that go deep and a trunk that can hold many branches and leaves to help sustain life where needed.
Then I decided that floating and drifting were not enough for me. There was too much inside me that had to get out and the only way it could was for me to become even more informed. I planted myself like a tree and began the earnest in depth study of my inner passionate drive. Filling my memory with knowledge both new and objective. Combined with what I had already learned I began to feel the presence of myself in a more profound way. I could make conversation on the subject of my study and argue and debate a more complete response to the truthful facts of reality. I began the process of knowing what I was talking about.
Knowing what I was talking about is different than just talking from someone else's point of view. I wasn't a carrier of others' imaginations and creativity, I was my own source of reason, analyzing and concluding. When I had the basic facts of my passion as a foundation, there was nothing that my mind couldn't separate out from the noise of obstruction or confusion. I was a source of information, not just a messenger of it. This is where my humble wisdom comes from, knowing of what I am talking or debating about. I am not perfect nor the wisest around yet it is what I strive for when it comes to being able to understand that which matters the most to me. Metaphorically I am now a tree, with roots that go deep and a trunk that can hold many branches and leaves to help sustain life where needed.
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