There are few things in life we actually have full control over and how we act is one of them. Sure there are many reasons why we make excuses to act the way we do but the excuses are just that, excuses that we choose to define our actions. Sometimes we get into situations that force our actions or so we think. We always and I mean always have another choice than the one we think we must choose. I learned this a long time ago and struggled with it until later in my life when I decided that enough of struggling was enough. I chose to live how I want to live based upon what I hold dear as honorable and noble. Today my life is what I choose it to be and if it becomes not what I choose then I will change it. I like that about having a choice.
I live one time and that is this time so all that I do must reflect who I am and not what I am forced to be. My reality won't allow it now. Everything I have done in the past is mine and whether I am proud of it or not doesn't come into the equation, it just is. So making excuses or denying behavior is unacceptable. All my life I have been searching for the why of things, well I know the why of me now. I am and I may be that if I choose. Which is what I am doing. The things of allure and fantasy are not given any quarter with me. I am not about what I can do for myself as much as I am for what I can do to make our world a better place. I have honor that way, not selfishness. I tried selfishness and it left me cold and hollow inside.
So simply put, as my life is winding down I am content in that I have chosen to live as the best example of who I am. I still not without my stumbles but they are innocent in intent and never purposeful. I rectify and own my behavior whenever it deviates from my choices as it can do given that I am imperfect. There is no autopilot for me as life is too complicated and complex for me to think I can have a choice at the ready without having to ponder on it's effect to me and others. Life is constantly changing and that whirligig is unforgiving when I don't concentrate on the ever changing factors. Regardless though, I choose my behavior, it does not choose me and in the end I have found that wisdom to live by.
I live one time and that is this time so all that I do must reflect who I am and not what I am forced to be. My reality won't allow it now. Everything I have done in the past is mine and whether I am proud of it or not doesn't come into the equation, it just is. So making excuses or denying behavior is unacceptable. All my life I have been searching for the why of things, well I know the why of me now. I am and I may be that if I choose. Which is what I am doing. The things of allure and fantasy are not given any quarter with me. I am not about what I can do for myself as much as I am for what I can do to make our world a better place. I have honor that way, not selfishness. I tried selfishness and it left me cold and hollow inside.
So simply put, as my life is winding down I am content in that I have chosen to live as the best example of who I am. I still not without my stumbles but they are innocent in intent and never purposeful. I rectify and own my behavior whenever it deviates from my choices as it can do given that I am imperfect. There is no autopilot for me as life is too complicated and complex for me to think I can have a choice at the ready without having to ponder on it's effect to me and others. Life is constantly changing and that whirligig is unforgiving when I don't concentrate on the ever changing factors. Regardless though, I choose my behavior, it does not choose me and in the end I have found that wisdom to live by.
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