Friday, May 23, 2025

(#5955) If I don't do it it won't get done!

      Everything about me is my responsibility. Just so you know I have known this since my early days growing up. If I needed something there were only a few instances in my past that were done by others for me. Of course I am also one who rarely asks for help when I need it. It is because I always see a way of getting something done despite the near impossibility. I do respect my mind for its ability to rationalize solutions when they are not easily available. So me being the one who tackles my problems is a natural for me. Yet over time this paradigm of my taking care of my business does wear me down.
     When I was younger I enjoyed the challenges associated with my own ability to solve my problems but as I have gotten much older the internal fortitude I used to take for granted has waned a bit. I am not the bright eyed bushy tailed young rabbit ready to sprint at a moments notice anymore. Now I ache and creak with less than prime physical attributes and mental fatigue is as well a factor. I think every morning before I rise after waking of the chores and duties out ahead of me before I can rest again. That is how I roll. I get my responsibilities done first then I get to find time to rest. It is a cycle that really has no end except when the end of me does come.
     That is my destiny in life now. To keep things in order while trying not to exert beyond my lessening capabilities. It is like a dance where I have no partner but I do have the music and the will to stay in step with the beat. Each movement executed to a precision without too may miscues. The dance metaphor really does work for me in that I am happy to be doing it while also understanding the achievement of the motion. My chores and duties are much more enjoyable when I can imagine them as all part of a production worthy of being performed. If it needs to be done I just do it and there is no debate within myself about my role.

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