Escape from Reality (#60)

I can't say how many times I configured my schedule around the term "party". By party, I mean drinking myself into to some altered state of euphoria. Escape from reality was my goal and I made sure I accomplished my goal everytime I set out to achieve it. I became such an inconsequential member of my family and responsible friends so that I would never be missed when I was indulging in my favorite pastime. For years this was my protocol, until my body and my ability to fool people, as to my hidden intention, began to falter. It is when I could not maintain a high expectation of deception and signs that my body was reacting in ways that began to concern me that I concluded that I had to re-evaluate the necessity of chasing an altered state. Only by stopping all alcoholic consumption was I able to begin to see that my life needed no illusion of an altered state. Somehow early in my life I decided that partying was my solution to a world I could not make right. I know now that I can make the world right through a determined conviction to try. Regardless if I succeed the effort to try is my solution. Goodbye alcohol and hello conviction of my principles. It has been a wonderful transformation.